Now I've been sick all week but nothing stirs me out of a NyQuil induced coma quite like the opportunity to call someone out on how big a dick they are.
We bloggers have to look out for our own. So when some fucktard of a radio "personality" attacks a fellow site (The Big Lead, not linked for a reason) that we happen to love, it's on like Donkey Kong. Why would you do something like that to such nice, attractive, immensely hung boys?
Maybe your penis is the size of my pinkie finger. Nay, my left pinkie toe. Folklore has it that your penis is actually inverted. Kind of like a second belly button.
It could be the fact that you have not gotten laid in the past 6 years. (I would only believe that you have had sex with a live female in the past 6 years if Jesus Christ appeared in my kitchen and told me himself. And even then I would be skeptical. I might punch him in the stomach and call him a dirty liar.)
But no matter what the reason, the song remains the same: 
In fact, I think you embody the definition of douchebag: A person with a shitty personality that needs to "take themselves the fuck down" or "go home and get their fucking shine box." A douchebag usually assumes the form of a hair-gelling pretty-boy but can also be described as an overzealous, pompous, or vexatious asshole that most people wish were killed with a Mortal Kombat fatality.
Yes. That will do nicely. You Asshat.
I hope you get locked in a room with Joey Porter's pitbulls.
Labels: call yer click, douchebags, fucktards
With penis-drawing skills like that, you could be a subway graffiti artist.
Schrutebag is allegedly married. It could be in that "seperate beds" sort of way.
MS Paint wins.
Oh I know he's married. But I still refuse to believe he's had sex.
And is anyone ever needs me to put my MS paint skills to work for them, just lemme know.
MS Paint > Photoshop
I got madd skillz.
I like where you're going with the pitbulls. Let's just tell Joey Porter that Schrutebag disrepected him and he'll rectify the situation for us.
Also, those pubes look like sprinkles. Not to sound like a whore, but I'd love to have those balls in my mouth. Oh wait, too late. Too late...
Thank you ladies, I needed the laugh.
Ain't it good news when the 'established media' starts coming to us for their ideas? Even if it is some pathetic bovine cowboy?
And btw, in billiards, it is all about starting with a good rack.
Keep up the good work.