This past weekend I made my way to a Fort Worth Cats game. Minor league baseball at it's finest.
Ah the Ft. Worth skyline at night.
The game was great because of these things:
1) Way cheaper tickets than MLB games
2) The game time entertainment
3) One of the Cats at bat songs was Tool's "The Pot"
4) Beautiful LaGrave Field (the last time I was there was when Mandy and I attended a concert that featured the surviving members of Great White)
5) The heckling
I haven't gotten to experience good heckling in a little while either, so this was a long time coming.
I set my sites on the third baseman for the Omaha Saltlicks. I had forgotten to get a roster before the game so I had to resort to just calling him Third Base. And believe me folks, there is nothing more intimidating than a five foot girl in black Chuck Taylor's and a pink little league shirt drunkenly screaming, "Thhiiiiiiirrrrdddd baaaaaaaassssssseeeeeee!!!!!" every chance she could. I did finally get his attention by the end of the game. He just looked up at us shrugged his shoulders. I think he really was confused as to why the short, stacked girl with the "way to proud of Texas" baseball cap on was yelling at him.
My party was conveniently just a stones throw away from the visiting teams seating section. So when the Cat's mascot, Dodger, went to silly string one of the player's moms I was in earshot when I yelled "PUNCH HER IN THE FACE DODGER!" Or the section favorite "Ole ole ole ole!"
There's dodger, just encouraging me. Don't encourage me Dodge, it just makes it worse.
The only downsides to the game were:
1) Losing. By a lot.
2) $5 a beer, GOOD GOD.
3) Having to pretend like I knew all the words to "Put me in coach" even though I was far too drunk to remember them
4) The old people at the game judging me when I yelled profanities
5) Trying and failing at starting the wave
6) Being the only one in the section to do the YMCA a la Brady Quinn
Go to a minor league game. Get drunk, and yell at the players. Because much like this diagram explains, baseball games and beer (and me) make any situation better. Hooray!
That yellow section is where you want to be.
EDIT: They are not the Saltlicks, they are the Saltdogs. My drunk ass kept referring to them as the Saltlicks during the game, and I guess I did a good job convincing myself that that was their real name.
And the super hot 3rd baseman was Jay Yaconetti. It should be noted that he received the majority of the heckling because he had such a fine ass. Love them baseball pants.
The game was great because of these things:
1) Way cheaper tickets than MLB games
2) The game time entertainment
3) One of the Cats at bat songs was Tool's "The Pot"
4) Beautiful LaGrave Field (the last time I was there was when Mandy and I attended a concert that featured the surviving members of Great White)
5) The heckling
I haven't gotten to experience good heckling in a little while either, so this was a long time coming.
I set my sites on the third baseman for the Omaha Saltlicks. I had forgotten to get a roster before the game so I had to resort to just calling him Third Base. And believe me folks, there is nothing more intimidating than a five foot girl in black Chuck Taylor's and a pink little league shirt drunkenly screaming, "Thhiiiiiiirrrrdddd baaaaaaaassssssseeeeeee!!!!!" every chance she could. I did finally get his attention by the end of the game. He just looked up at us shrugged his shoulders. I think he really was confused as to why the short, stacked girl with the "way to proud of Texas" baseball cap on was yelling at him.
My party was conveniently just a stones throw away from the visiting teams seating section. So when the Cat's mascot, Dodger, went to silly string one of the player's moms I was in earshot when I yelled "PUNCH HER IN THE FACE DODGER!" Or the section favorite "Ole ole ole ole!"
The only downsides to the game were:
1) Losing. By a lot.
2) $5 a beer, GOOD GOD.
3) Having to pretend like I knew all the words to "Put me in coach" even though I was far too drunk to remember them
4) The old people at the game judging me when I yelled profanities
5) Trying and failing at starting the wave
6) Being the only one in the section to do the YMCA a la Brady Quinn
Go to a minor league game. Get drunk, and yell at the players. Because much like this diagram explains, baseball games and beer (and me) make any situation better. Hooray!
That yellow section is where you want to be.
EDIT: They are not the Saltlicks, they are the Saltdogs. My drunk ass kept referring to them as the Saltlicks during the game, and I guess I did a good job convincing myself that that was their real name.
And the super hot 3rd baseman was Jay Yaconetti. It should be noted that he received the majority of the heckling because he had such a fine ass. Love them baseball pants.
Labels: adventures, baseball, drunk
If a great time requires baseball, beer and Lauren... are you offering to attend baseball games with us ? Baseball, I can do (Mud Hens baby) -- and surely beer will be there... but if a Lauren is required, I'm gonna need help.
Wow. You just made me homesick for like, 5.7 seconds. I don't remember the last time I actually missed Fort Worth. Now the bar b que, I miss. I miss the bar b que at least once a day.
Nothing quite like a beautifully crafted Venn Diagram to drive home your point. F flow charts, pie charts, or other weak ass visual aids. On a casual aside did you take down your banner pic or is just blocked by my works intertubes security specialist? Now I have "Danger Zone" by Kenny Loggins in my head, only instead I am singing Welcome to the Yellow Zone. I think I might be fired.
@jp - lauren is not always required. but i am always down for baseball
@becky - i had on a bbq tx hat at the game. we should hang out.
@andrew - must be work. the tits are still there. and venn diagrams > any other chart. and ggs takes no responsibility for the state of your employment
Some of the best heckling I've ever heard at a sporting event was at a Louisville River Bats/Richmond Braves (Triple-A) game a couple of years ago. For some reason three drunk guys behind us were giving the Bats' third baseman tremendous amounts of shit, and the 3B was giving it right back to them.
Alas, the Braves lack seriously hot players this year, but it's still a cheap good time.
You went to see my hometown Lincoln Saltdogs!? (God, is that a gay ass name or what? Might as well called them the Rusty Cocks or something...)
My favorite game when I go see them play is drinking one of the tall beers (20oz I think..) an inning. I pulled it off a couple times, but you gotta buy three beers in the seventh (stupid rules) and drink 'em before they get warm.
You must have played the same game to get such clear photos of the field, my dear. :D
And that 3rd baseman's name was probably Jay Yaconetti.
haha beretta. yes the pictures aren't that great...the zoom was on like crazy.
i wish i'd played that game. those damn $5 beers. thank god i'm female and don't pay for booze.
After that 9th beer, the heckling gets pretty damn incoherent. But it still counts, dammit!
I think it's time to change my pitch up... :P
oh honey, they're playing our song...
Are you sure you weren't at the Dodgers game too?
http://lioninoil.blogspot.com/search/label/Madness
im not sure, but ive heard that they have a hot tub out in the outfield you can rent there and watch the game.