MISSING MANDY (EP. 4): THIS PLACE IS EFFIN COLD
2 Comments Published by lauren on 6/22/2007 at 13:39.
June 20th, 2007 4:00pm
This sucks a big, fat, hairy nut. I was not prepared for this.
I immediately regret going to Antarctica to find Mandy. A trip to the South Pole is always a bad choice. If I would’ve known that this place wasn’t like the animated penguin movies make it seem I would have stayed in Graceland.
I was about to give up on finding her in that god forsaken land when I ran into this guy:
This sucks a big, fat, hairy nut. I was not prepared for this.
I immediately regret going to Antarctica to find Mandy. A trip to the South Pole is always a bad choice. If I would’ve known that this place wasn’t like the animated penguin movies make it seem I would have stayed in Graceland. This whole idea was really dumb. But I never claimed to be the smartest person alive, just the best looking. Seriously, in the future if anyone ever asks me, “Lauren, would you rather go back to Antarctica or would you rather have your fingernails ripped off of your hands?” I will gladly give them my hands and be happy with the fact that I never have to get a manicure again.
I was about to give up on finding her in that god forsaken land when I ran into this guy:
He had been atop Vinson Massif and I was just about to leave. We locked eyes. It was like magic. He ate a live fish, I watched in amazement. I told him about my shrine to him, he told me I was the girl he had dreamed of while he was on top of the peak. I told him he could get on top of me and we could both peak. He laughed and shot me that boyish grin of his.
Mandy could wait for me to rescue her. It was time for some Bear loving.
After he had his way with me inside a dead deer's carcass I told him of my journey. He said he couldn’t keep me from my noble cause for another minute and that he would help me get back to America. The search for the red-headed blogger would continue with a much happier, sexed up Lauren.
Labels: adventures, bear grylls is a god among men, where in the world is mandy sandiego
Funny post. Bear is cool but a little crazy around the edges - guess it works for him. I'm seen him eat a live fish as well - but my time with him didn't end the same as yours.
too funny!!