GIRLS GONE SPORTS, THE DON IMUSES OF THE BLOGGING WORLD

Well, now that the dust has settled on the Great Julius Jones Debacle we figured it was time to stoke the embers again and create a wildfire worthy of a Michael Martin Murphy song. In case you happened to miss it last Thursday, Kissing Suzy Kolber featured our entry in the keeper league contest and it kinda got everyone riled up. (The comments have since been deleted, but you can still read the story that started it all.) The fracas then spread to the Nation of Islam Sportsblog, whose fanbase consists solely of Unsilent Majority (we guess it gives him street cred?), and the previously unheard of Liptstick Alley. Honestly, we're still not really sure what the hell Lipstick Alley is (other than a collective of idiot harpies who may or may not be black.) Oh, and it spread to the Deadspin comments too.

Anyways, what seemed to set everyone off was not the story itself, but the mention of the "Darks Mall" and the "grabbing our rape whistles and donning our kevlar" line. I guess this reference was just a little too local for most of our audience as it drew emails from Arlington locals laughing and sharing their horror stories, but just seemed to really piss off everybody else. So allow us to explain.

For some reason every scary local mall seems to have a nickname (like Gunspoint Mall in Houston) and our scary local mall just happens to be referred to as The Darks Mall. Yes, we admit that it is a racist name for a mall, but that is what it's often referred to around here. And not because its patronage consists of law abiding African American citizens, but because it is overrun with teenage black males who spend their time loitering, stealing and starting fights literally every weekend. Fights like this one. Go ahead, look through the slideshow. Let me know how many white people you see.

This is the same mall where women have been raped and/or beaten and mugged in the parking garages and where people have been shot and stores held up at gunpoint. So no, the rape whistles and kevlar weren't too far, they were actually too real. Trust me, I worked there for over a year during high school and college and it was a fucking scary place.

So, apologies if we genuinely offended anyone, but we both find it kinda funny that the people who were outraged by this story were the same ones laughing at things like the Negro Bowl.


As one astute commenter at KSK pointed out, you guys would've all been laughing if it was a gay jab, a sexist joke, an [insert any foreign countryman here] joke, a Jew joke, or all of the above. So chill out. The last thing that should ever be taken seriously is anything you read here or at KSK. For Chrissake look at the things we post on a daily basis. We offend ourselves and probably even humanity.

And as fresh and innovative as you think your Klan jokes and trailer park jokes are, they're not. At all. They just prompt people to respond with equally played out race jokes, because they're equally as preposterous and because they rile you up even further, which is funny because the entire thing is stupid in the first place. And for the record, as a former Catholic I can't join the Klan. Believe me, I've tried.

So in closing, get a sense of humor or get off the Internet.

And Big Daddy Drew - deleting the comments? seriously? Coming from you guys that reeks of hypocrisy on several different levels. The Internet is the last bastion of uncensored media, so don't be gay by censoring it. And don't be black either.

You take away our racial jokes and the next thing you know our porn is gone. And nobody wants that.

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10 Responses to “GIRLS GONE SPORTS, THE DON IMUSES OF THE BLOGGING WORLD”

  1. # Blogger Malcom Hex

    "most of our audience "

    Your audience?

    Ummm, don't you mean KSK's audience? LOL.

    Who would ever have known about it if it had only been posted here, and not on KSK?????  

  2. # Blogger ultrasound tech

    "The last thing that should ever be taken seriously is anything you read here or at KSK"

    umm, you should probably include NOIS in there, too.  

  3. # Blogger Mr Telefone Man

    "other than a collective of idiot harpies"

    that line loses it's efficacy.

    you know, coming from a collective of idiot harpies and all.  

  4. # Blogger Beretta

    I missed the original story, but that is hilarious! In fact, I'm starting a petition to rename this blog "Juggs and Red"!

    And if my porn disappears, the rivers will run red...  

  5. # Blogger Mantlemurcer

    Holy over reaction Batman. But that's what you get for rooting for the Cowboys.

    Beretta- I'm with ya if they take away the porn!  

  6. # Blogger AlanTdot

    Ladies.

    I think you do a lot of funny stuff here. I also think you went too far with this one.

    I think your reaction/explanation misses the mark also.

    Your explanation varies wildly from, 'Hey its just jokes' to 'do you see any white people in this brawl?'.

    Nothing wrong with saying, '..maybe we went over the line, but we strive to keep things edgy and funny here so the line might get crossed from time to time. No offense intended.'

    Nothing wrong with admitting that you made an error.

    I also think you should rename the blog, Juggs and Red....  

  7. # Blogger Beckylooo

    Wow.

    Just... Wow.

    I am so sorry I came to this party late. Seems like the kegs tapped and you ladies are passed out on some couch masquerading as a lawn chair. But "Tell Juggs and Red we done."!?!? Shit slayed me.

    Ya'll make me laugh.  

  8. # Blogger Beckylooo

    Though, as a native, I do feel compelled to point out that what passes for humor in Texas is racist like, 95% of the time.

    Darks Mall is certainly on the lower end of the offensive scale but I'm not at all surprised people got their panties in a twist. That's what happens when folks waste time throwing a funeral for a word.

    http://deusexmalcontent.blogspot.com/2007/07/nothin-but-n-thang.html  

  9. # Blogger kriswood417

    The Darks Mall story was very funny so FUCK all those overly sensitive assholes. EVERY large city has a mall in a predominately black neighborhood that white people DO NOT go to - that's reality and is allowed to be made fun of. Example - growing up in New Orleans, the Lake Forest Mall in N.O. East became the Black Forest Mall - all they sold there were rims, speakers and baby clothes (don't get mad at me - that's my favorite Chris Rock line)That's reality - and again - can and should be made fun of.  

  10. # Blogger Boney

    Darks Mall is funnier than our nickname in virginia for the "Kings Dominion" amusement park... we've started referring to it as "Gangs Dominion" because it has been overrun lately with doo-rags, funnel cake stands and has nearly doubled it's ridiculously large stuffed animal gaming...  

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