When we aren't busy watching countless hours of porn sports and drinking amazing amounts of beer, we (like most girls) dream of that perfect guy out there just waiting to sweep us off our feet...okay, that's a lie. Lemme try this again...
When we aren't busy watching countless hours ofporn sports and drinking amazing amounts of beer, we dream of those perfect guys out there just waiting to have amazing sex with us. There. That's more like it. So in the hopes of reeling in one of these fine specimens that we wanna lay we're sending them love letters. This week it's the Dallas Mavericks’ play-by-play announcer, Mark Followill.
NOTE: This love letter may be a bit too localized for some readers. And we know what happens if Red and I get too localized… But fuck it, I write the love letter; I pick who receives it. And you like it.
Dear Mark,
When we aren't busy watching countless hours of
NOTE: This love letter may be a bit too localized for some readers. And we know what happens if Red and I get too localized… But fuck it, I write the love letter; I pick who receives it. And you like it.
Dear Mark,
Your myspace says you were born to talk about sports. Well Mark, I was born to listen to you.
I could listen to that voice of yours read the back of a box of cake mix and be riveted. From your hilarious one liners, “Tips it in the basket with a velvet touch!” “There’s the shot, oooh! Silky smooth!”, to your perfect use of adjectives and verbs, no one does it quite like you do.
I could say something perverted and gross hot, but my feelings for you are too pure. You might even compare them to my feelings for Dirk. (Who, for those of you keeping score at home has been knocked down in the "Rankings of my Heart" to #2. After that Warriors series Matt Damon was able to come in with the steal for #1.)
So instead of my hilarious double entendres, I offer you this song that expresses what I feel:
Nobody does it better
Makes me feel sad for the rest
Nobody does it half as good as you
Baby, you're the best
I wasn't looking but somehow you found me
I tried to hide from your love light
But like heaven above, me the play-by-play announcer who loved me
Is keepin' all my secrets safe tonight
If only you could hear my Carly Simon impression live. It’s amazing. I’m almost sure you would fall in love with me if you heard it. If not, I would offer you Chipotle and then I’m sure the deal would be sealed.
I bet you do play-by-play when you’re in bed, don’t you? HOT. Some girls like it when you talk dirty to them, I like it when you talk stats to me. Nothing turns me on more than knowing exactly how many points in the paint the Mavs have made. I’m getting excited just thinking about it…I think I need to be alone.
I’m only a stones throw away from you, whenever you need a little bit of Girls Gone Sports loving…just let me know...just thought I'd throw that out there...
xoxo
Lauren
So instead of my hilarious double entendres, I offer you this song that expresses what I feel:
Nobody does it better
Makes me feel sad for the rest
Nobody does it half as good as you
Baby, you're the best
I wasn't looking but somehow you found me
I tried to hide from your love light
But like heaven above, me the play-by-play announcer who loved me
Is keepin' all my secrets safe tonight
If only you could hear my Carly Simon impression live. It’s amazing. I’m almost sure you would fall in love with me if you heard it. If not, I would offer you Chipotle and then I’m sure the deal would be sealed.
I bet you do play-by-play when you’re in bed, don’t you? HOT. Some girls like it when you talk dirty to them, I like it when you talk stats to me. Nothing turns me on more than knowing exactly how many points in the paint the Mavs have made. I’m getting excited just thinking about it…I think I need to be alone.
I’m only a stones throw away from you, whenever you need a little bit of Girls Gone Sports loving…just let me know...just thought I'd throw that out there...
xoxo
Lauren
Labels: lauren has a crush on the most random men, love letters, mark followill, mavs
"But fuck it, I write the love letter; I pick who receives it. And you like it"
...Thank you Juggs, may we have another?
Is that the appropriate response?
More Mandy!
I love you Mandy. Love you so bad...