So Cowboy’s training camp started a few days ago. And I realize that many in the blog world, including my partner in life crime, don’t give two shits about that. Well I do.
We’re going to the first preseason game against the Colts and I’m trying to get us geared up and ready. A little over a week ago I read about Phil Garner and his idea to place a voodoo curse on Carlos Zambrano. This got me thinking…what in the black arts could I do to help my beloved Boys this season?
Lucky for me, a framed picture of Tony Romo fell into my lap.
[Shout out to Shaun for the Romo pic. Readers who give us stuff are the tits.]
We’re going to the first preseason game against the Colts and I’m trying to get us geared up and ready. A little over a week ago I read about Phil Garner and his idea to place a voodoo curse on Carlos Zambrano. This got me thinking…what in the black arts could I do to help my beloved Boys this season?
Lucky for me, a framed picture of Tony Romo fell into my lap.
Each night I light candles around it chanting various things about “not sucking” and “not fucking this up.” I kiss it each night before I go to sleep and I occasionally sprinkle it with a potion I made out of High Life (holy water), my perfume (Chanel), Powerade (for the sport liquid), a ground up hydrocodone (borrowed from TO), and a pinch of sea salt (for flavor).
Sometimes I turn the lights down really low and softly play Journey’s “Don’t stop believing.”
So if you do really well this season Tony, you’re welcome. And if you don’t, I’ve wasted good High Life.
[Shout out to Shaun for the Romo pic. Readers who give us stuff are the tits.]
Labels: dallas cowboys, high life, tap dancing on that line between flattery and insanity, tony romo
There's a photo of Romo in there? I was, er, distracted.
Don't feel bad, Mantle. Took me a while to spot the Romo photo. All I could see were Juggs and a boob. *zing!*
Im with Mantle... I only saw juggs. Who is this "romo" you speak of?
Nice cans. If that star is supposed to be a bullseye, it's a little off.
Not a bad idea, but recent history has proven that playing "Don't Stop Believing" is ALWAYS followed by a disappointing ending.
Readers who give us stuff will see our tits.
Fixed.
Looking for stuff!
There is a picture of Romo there?
Why does the voodoo have to be Haitian? don't use the cowboys sucking as an opportunity to stereotype a nation of people...
Actually Grant, the title comes from a Jay-Z lyric.
"Excuse me, miss" to be exact.
You fucktard.