REMEMBER THAT TIME I SAID I'D NEVER LEAVE YOU AGAIN?

Well that, like most everything out of my mouth, was a complete and total lie. I returned just long enough to start a racial flame war and now I'm getting the hell out of Dodge and letting Lauren clean up the mess. (Thanks Laur!)

I'll be in my native Pittsburgh for the next week or so, which means only one thing: Ben Roethlisberger's world is about to get rocked. And by rocked of course I mean stalked. (Big Ben News just makes it so easy.) I'll miss you guys, but truth be told, I'm pretty excited about my trip. Turns out a plane ticket is considerably less expensive than what I've been spending on gas and adult diapers on my previous cross-country stalking excursions.

My internet access will probably be intermittent at best, so everything's in Lauren's hands this week. In the meantime, I'm posing this question to you lovely readers:



My baseball allegiance is for sale. Which team do I choose?
Texas Rangers
Houston Astros
Pittsburgh Pirates
New York Mets
New York Yankees
Boston Red Sox
St. Louis Cardinals
Detroit Tigers
Milwaukee Brewers
Other
pollcode.com free polls


Basketball and hockey are over and we've got a couple months until football, so I'm desperately bored with sports right now. As I've mentioned before, I just can't really get into baseball. Overweight, out of shape men running around in uniforms that look like pajamas just doesn't do it for me. But I'm trying. I just need a team to get behind.

My football loyalties lie with Pittsburgh. My basketball loyalties lie with Dallas. And my hockey loyalties are split between the two. So where should my loyalties lie in baseball?

Should I root, root, root for the home team, the perilously sucky Texas Rangers? Or should I support the ever so slightly less embarrassing Houston Astros? I lived in Houston for awhile.... I could go for the Pirates since I support all the other Pittsburgh sporting ventures, but what with the fan protests and all I'm not so sure it's the best time to try and be a fan again...I'm moving to Long Island next month so I suppose I could support the Mets, or the Yankees just to be a dick. I could like the Cardinals, Sox, or Tigers just because they're popular. Or I could go for the Brewers because they seem to like beer as much as me. Hmmm...decisions.

Somebody make up my mind for me. Please make this next month interesting.

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9 Responses to “REMEMBER THAT TIME I SAID I'D NEVER LEAVE YOU AGAIN?”

  1. # Blogger The DBG

    I'm supporting the Rangers. If you choose elsewhere I would suggest the Cardinals since they're the only other team on the list that isn't pure evil.  

  2. # Blogger Beretta

    First off: LIAR!!!!

    Now that that's out of my system, I would love for you to root for my Tigers, but people would be pointing out the splinters in your ass from crash landing on that band wagon.

    You should just go by your tried and true method: find a team with a lot of players that make you cream your panties (or maybe just one player who just makes you convulse in orgasmic pleasure with a look) and there ya go. Problem solved.  

  3. # Blogger Mantlemurcer

    Ya have to go with the Yankees. The pinstripes will make your breasts look fabulous.  

  4. # Blogger Doberman on the Diamond

    I'll give you the best cunningulus (I love that word) of your life if you join the Cardinals fan base. Also, Budweiser is located in StL, so beer pretty much flows through the streets here (though that turned out to be a pretty bad thing of Josh Hancock.)  

  5. # Blogger Mantlemurcer

    Good old Connie Lingus. Damn, you've really upped the ante.

    I'll give you the best cunningulus of your life while you drink beer!  

  6. # Blogger Beretta

    Mantle: he didn't up the ante! He offered up Budweiser! I think he hurt his chances there. Miller seems to be the beer of choice on this blog. Unless we're talking free beer...then all bets are off.  

  7. # Blogger Doberman on the Diamond

    Oh, it's free beer. Smooth and delicious like a mountain stream (or so goes the commercial).

    So, Connie Lingus and free beer. I win.  

  8. # Blogger Mantlemurcer

    Damn..uh, Connie Lingus and your own brewery!  

  9. # Blogger John John The Bastard

    First off fresh as a mountain Stream = Coors. so maybe the Rockies?

    Secondly, as a Mets fan and not wanting to befoul my good name by offering sexual favors for myself I humbly submit my team for consideration.

    Why? Because David Wright & Jose Reyes, that's why. DW makes me second guess myself sometimes.  

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