YOU SAY IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY

0 Comments Published by lauren on 10/10/2007 at 11:15.

Well today is not only my younger brother's birthday it is also two of this sites favorite people's birthday as well.

No, not Mario Lopez, Dale Earnhart Jr., or Tanya Tucker.

It's ~~my biological father~~ Diamond David Lee Roth's birthday too! Diamond Dave has been very influential in mine and Mandy's lives. We were brought together oh so long ago after we realized our mutual love for Van Halen (not Van Haggar). So really, it's safe to say that if it wasn't for ~~our strong sexual urges for each other~~ Van Halen music this site might have never existed and you would have never seen our cleavage or the way we can work a Popsicle.

So today, dear horny reader, take time to celebrate Diamond Dave's bday. Maybe stand on a chair and jump off doing a toe touch and wearing a sparkly leotard. Don't have a leotard? Borrow Oscar De La Hoya's fishnets. Can't jump off a chair because of that back injury you obtained while trying out that one position during sex that ended up giving you a Charlie horse? Well in that case strut around declaring yourself to be the "Ice cream Man", or my personal favorite "Just a gigolo."

And while you're at it, wish Brett Favre a happy 38 years. Because without him other bloggers wouldn't be able to make old man jokes about him. And Cialis stock would drop dramatically. And I wouldn't get that salt and pepper fantasy about him in his heartburn or cholesterol medicine commercial out of my dreams.