Mandy and I strive to bring you the latest in sports news. Day in and day out we search our creative souls to bring you the best we can.
That's why this Halloween season we are bringing you something you just aren't going to be able to find anywhere else. We used our connections and networking to talk to some of the biggest and brightest names in the NFL. I mean really, this is why you read this blog. Professionalism through and through.
This post is breaking sports news people. You can't make this stuff up. But it's what you should come to expect from this little website. Journalism at it's finest.
That's why we're proud to present to you what different personalities in the National Football League will be going as for Hallow33n!
The Manning brothers will be going as ketchup and mustard. Yes. Just that. Matching.
TO and Randy Moss are going as the plug and the socket.
Dick as a dick. I know. My creative mind will blow you away.
Marvin Harrison has become one with the dolphins.
John Madden + Wade Phillips = Mayor McCheese and Grimace
Kyle Orton IS a hobo! He looks like one and reeks of booze.
Jeff Reed as a giant beer can he can crawl into. The giant camera phone was sold out.
For our female readers that still need a last minute costume just go to this place:
Happy Hallow33n everybody! If you don't hear back from Mandy or I then we are in a diabetic coma. Send help. Or more candy. Either way.
That's why this Halloween season we are bringing you something you just aren't going to be able to find anywhere else. We used our connections and networking to talk to some of the biggest and brightest names in the NFL. I mean really, this is why you read this blog. Professionalism through and through.
This post is breaking sports news people. You can't make this stuff up. But it's what you should come to expect from this little website. Journalism at it's finest.
That's why we're proud to present to you what different personalities in the National Football League will be going as for Hallow33n!
The Manning brothers will be going as ketchup and mustard. Yes. Just that. Matching.
TO and Randy Moss are going as the plug and the socket.
Dick as a dick. I know. My creative mind will blow you away.
Marvin Harrison has become one with the dolphins.
John Madden + Wade Phillips = Mayor McCheese and Grimace
Kyle Orton IS a hobo! He looks like one and reeks of booze.
Jeff Reed as a giant beer can he can crawl into. The giant camera phone was sold out.
For our female readers that still need a last minute costume just go to this place:
Happy Hallow33n everybody! If you don't hear back from Mandy or I then we are in a diabetic coma. Send help. Or more candy. Either way.
Being a constant lady of class and grace is tiring. Sometimes I wonder how I'm able to do it all the time. Lifting my pinky to drink tea is simply exhausting. Smiling and waving and doing lovely curtsy all the time is enough to make me need a nap.
I will, on occasion, slip into my alter ego and burp, dance on tables, lift my shirt up and flash passersby, try and fight with beer bottles, drink tea with my pinky down. It happens. Having this much sophistication and grace is probably the hardest thing in the world.
So I understand when a lady of the highest caliber, like Britney Spears, does something normal people find offensive. I mean, when you are used to seeing her being refined, graceful and ultra polished all the time it is a shock to hear of her doing something like this (from the mouth of Ryan Seacrest)...
"She had her sunglasses on. I said, 'Busy day, huh?' She kind of smiled and laughed and said, 'Yeah.' And then I believe I saw her and Tony Romo frolicking." "Lap dancing?" a co-host asked. "I mean some would say," Seacrest said. "She's on his lap," the co-host continued. "Yeah," Seacrest replied.
Let the girl live! When all you do is have stately dinners with the Queen and volunteer for various children's charities you need to occasionally live a little. When a hot shot NFL quarterback flashes you a smile and you have the opportunity to wriggle and grind on his $67.5 million crotch you do it!
It's not like she has two little boys to worry about. Or a career that is tanking. Or a fat ass to work out. Or acne to take care of.
She...wait. What?
Oh yeah. Never mind.
I guess I better get back to writing my etiquette column and making Emily Post look like, well, Britney Spears.
[Photo]
Labels: britney spears, lap dances, tony romo
For a lesson on how NOT to conduct an interview and the incredible restraint of Sam Cassell, just click play.
I'd love to see this douche try this on Ron Artest or Allen Iverson. In fact, I'd pay to see it.
And personally, I think he looks more like E.T.
[The Big Lead]
I'd love to see this douche try this on Ron Artest or Allen Iverson. In fact, I'd pay to see it.
And personally, I think he looks more like E.T.
[The Big Lead]
Labels: douchebags, sam cassell
JESSICA BIEL LIKES THE GREEN BAY PACKERS, GETTING HER ASS GRABBED BY OTHER WOMEN
7 Comments Published by mandy on 10/23/2007 at 19:25.
Courtesy of I Don't Like You In That Way, whose readers sent in some shots of Biel & Co. at the Packers vs. Bears game on Oct. 7th, come these random photos:
I'm assuming they just saw Sexy Rexy on the bench. Brett Favre doesn't really incite girl on girl action these days.
James Van Der Beek is still alive?! Who knew!? And Justin Timberlake shotguns beer?!! I think my world may have just turned upside down.
Yeah, random. That's pretty much all I can say about this. Unless of course I found a thesaurus. Then I could say accidental, adventitious, aimless, arbitrary, casual, chance, contingent, designless, desultory, driftless, fluky, foruitous, haphazard, hit-or-miss, incidental, indiscriminate, irregular, objcectlss, odd, promiscuous, purposeless, slapdash, spot, stray, unaimed, unconsideed,unplanned, unpremiditated.
I'm so well-spoken, I know. And articulate. And eloquent. And intelligible. Thesauruses are fun.
[More photos here]
And because I know you care, here's a bonus video of Biel, Timberlake, and the mystery ass-grabber at Lambeau Field:
Yeah, random. That's pretty much all I can say about this. Unless of course I found a thesaurus. Then I could say accidental, adventitious, aimless, arbitrary, casual, chance, contingent, designless, desultory, driftless, fluky, foruitous, haphazard, hit-or-miss, incidental, indiscriminate, irregular, objcectlss, odd, promiscuous, purposeless, slapdash, spot, stray, unaimed, unconsideed,unplanned, unpremiditated.
I'm so well-spoken, I know. And articulate. And eloquent. And intelligible. Thesauruses are fun.
[More photos here]
And because I know you care, here's a bonus video of Biel, Timberlake, and the mystery ass-grabber at Lambeau Field:
Labels: green bay packers, jessica biel, nfl
With Mandy neck deep in legal writing (and the flu *sad face*) I've taken this site over with my love of Tony Romo! MWAHAHHAHHA!
Not really. I've just been busy and Romo stuff falls into my lap and I'm a lazy bitch.
Listening to the radio this morning I got to hear this gem: The Tony Romo song.
Yes, that's the Rawhide-Romo song. (Insert gay joke here) I agree with the Bo and Jim show that played it this morning, Blake Wallace could use work on his rhyme skill.
If that link doesn't work you can find it on the radio stations website here. Hopefully it will still be up.
I wish I had enough time on my hands to write horribly bad songs like that. I barely have time to update here. We've got something coming for HalloP33N. Until then, enjoy the Romo love fest.
EDIT* - I plan on writing (prolly not recording, I save my voice for the karaoke bars) a song about Matt Mcbriar. My favorite cowboy. Australian punters get me every time. Rawr!
[Lonestar 92.5]
Not really. I've just been busy and Romo stuff falls into my lap and I'm a lazy bitch.
Listening to the radio this morning I got to hear this gem: The Tony Romo song.
Yes, that's the Rawhide-Romo song. (Insert gay joke here) I agree with the Bo and Jim show that played it this morning, Blake Wallace could use work on his rhyme skill.
If that link doesn't work you can find it on the radio stations website here. Hopefully it will still be up.
I wish I had enough time on my hands to write horribly bad songs like that. I barely have time to update here. We've got something coming for HalloP33N. Until then, enjoy the Romo love fest.
EDIT* - I plan on writing (prolly not recording, I save my voice for the karaoke bars) a song about Matt Mcbriar. My favorite cowboy. Australian punters get me every time. Rawr!
[Lonestar 92.5]
Labels: tony romo
Sometimes it's hard to be a woman
Giving all your love to just one man
You'll have bad times
And he'll have good times
Doing things that you don't understand
But if you love him you'll forgive him
Even though he's hard to understand
And if you love him
Oh be proud of him
'Cause after all he's just a man
Stand by your man
Give him two arms to cling to
And something warm to come to
When nights are cold and lonely
Stand by your man
And tell the world you love him
Keep giving all the love you can
Stand by your man
Labels: kickin lyrics straight to your brain, tammy wynette is one of my favorites to karaoke, tony romo
A BATTLE ROYALE OF FAKE RUGGED DUDE PROPORTIONS
0 Comments Published by lauren on 10/12/2007 at 12:53.
On Sunday they will meet. Only one will survive. It's the Brady v. Romo Battle of Fake Ruggedness (or the BVRBFR).Who is better at being styled to look rugged? Who can work on a fake ranch harder? Who can rope an imaginary steer faster?
Yes, they will meet at Texas Stadium in what is sure to be one of the most (or the most) over hyped games of the season. Yes, they will compare Romo to Farve and Brady. Yes, we will see that damn Jerry Jones-Papa John's commercial over and over (which by the way was created by a guy I went to high school with).
But what matters to this fake writer, dear horn dog readers? You should know the answer to this one: Who would I most likely let get inside of Lauren the Greats magically fantastic oh so desirable treasure trove of wonder? Why don't I just draw it out and see who wins...
I'm not that great at math so someone else add that up and tell me who won. I can't be expected to have brains and beauty. Geez. Demanding.
I think we all know who I'd do with out even looking at that chart or using the Pythagorean theorem.
And both of them would be the correct answer. I can't lie. It's this disorder I have where I have to tell the truth at all times. Yes, I'd have sex with both of them. Yes, I do have boobs that would make a man leave his wife. Yes, I did win the sexiest person alive contest 3 years in a row under the false name Lola Mchumpmegood. Yes, when I wake up in the morning animated woodland creatures roam into my bedroom while I sing a song in my angelic singing voice.
I told you. I'm like a truth machine.
[Brady pic via The Big Lead]
Labels: graphs and charts help us learn, tom brady, tony romo, yes that is really what i call my lady parts
KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN UNLESS YOU WANNA BABYSIT
0 Comments Published by lauren on 10/10/2007 at 14:09.
I'm already sick of looking at the pic of the Eagles. So here are some precious baby Sam Woods pics instead:
Yes, she no longer looks like a squishy prune. Blah blah blah all babies are beautiful blah blah blah there is no such thing as an ugly baby.
Those cheeks up close are precious. Awwwwwwwww. These pictures warm my cold, dark, unloving heart.I think my ovaries just skipped a beat.
[Just Jared]
Labels: babies, things that make you go awwwww
Via With Leather via Sportsbybrooks:
SPORTSbyBROOKS ("SbB") has learned exclusively today that the National Football League is in final negotiations to sign the Eagles to perform at halftime of the 2008 Super Bowl in Glendale, Arizona.
An announcement was not imminent, but a source said the likelihood of a deal being struck between the band and the league was "90%". The NFL's initial choice as headline halftime performer was Garth Brooks, but negotiations with the country performer broke down.
Fuck me, man. Girls Gone Sports HATES the fucking Eagles. Mandy has been known to start fights with people at bars who put them on the jukebox and I have broken up with a boyfriend for his love of the Eagles.
For those of you keeping score at home:
Van Halen - OK
Eagles of Death Metal - OK
Phil Collins - NOT OK
Boston - OK
Night Ranger - OK
The Fucking Eagles - NOT OK
Labels: boston, fucktards, i hate the fucking eagles
Well today is not only my younger brother's birthday it is also two of this sites favorite people's birthday as well.
No, not Mario Lopez, Dale Earnhart Jr., or Tanya Tucker.
It'smy biological father Diamond David Lee Roth's birthday too! Diamond Dave has been very influential in mine and Mandy's lives. We were brought together oh so long ago after we realized our mutual love for Van Halen (not Van Haggar). So really, it's safe to say that if it wasn't for our strong sexual urges for each other Van Halen music this site might have never existed and you would have never seen our cleavage or the way we can work a Popsicle.
No, not Mario Lopez, Dale Earnhart Jr., or Tanya Tucker.
It's
So today, dear horny reader, take time to celebrate Diamond Dave's bday. Maybe stand on a chair and jump off doing a toe touch and wearing a sparkly leotard. Don't have a leotard? Borrow Oscar De La Hoya's fishnets. Can't jump off a chair because of that back injury you obtained while trying out that one position during sex that ended up giving you a Charlie horse? Well in that case strut around declaring yourself to be the "Ice cream Man", or my personal favorite "Just a gigolo." 
And while you're at it, wish Brett Favre a happy 38 years. Because without him other bloggers wouldn't be able to make old man jokes about him. And Cialis stock would drop dramatically. And I wouldn't get that salt and pepper fantasy about him in his heartburn or cholesterol medicine commercial out of my dreams.Labels: brett favre, happy birthday, laurens awesome paint skills, van halen
Hi my name is Lauren and I'm a sucker for compliments, awards, and flattery.
What girl doesn't like hearing, "Hey those jeans make your ass look great!" or "Your hair is ON tonight!" or "Girls Gone Sports [is] the funniest, snarkiest sports blog on the 'net."
Well I don't know about ya'll, but Mandy and I love all three of those.
So thank you to the Dallas Observer for naming this site the Best of Dallas Sports Blog!
Muah!
Best Sports Blog (2007)
Girls Gone Sports
girlsgonesports.net
Once upon a time, the sports gods smiled upon the sports fans of North Texas, which was a nice thing to do considering they'd been acting like jerks lately, what with none of the area teams surviving playoffs. In compensation, the game-friendly gods gave us "Mandy" and "Lauren," two Tarrant County-born, sports-obsessed 20-somethings with access to Blogger, digital cameras and too much free time. The result? Girls Gone Sports, the funniest, snarkiest sports blog on the 'net. GGS combines the newsiness of Deadspin, the sluttiness of Wonkette and the celebrity roasting-ness of Perez Hilton, sprinkled with shots of the GGS bloggers' cleavage alongside items like framed photos of Tony Romo. Instead of a "mock draft," the ladies held a "cock draft," and we suggest you check out the site to see what their prestigious "Panty Creamer of the Week" award is all about. These lady sports bloggers really have some balls.
[Dallas Observer Best of 2007]
What girl doesn't like hearing, "Hey those jeans make your ass look great!" or "Your hair is ON tonight!" or "Girls Gone Sports [is] the funniest, snarkiest sports blog on the 'net."
Well I don't know about ya'll, but Mandy and I love all three of those.
So thank you to the Dallas Observer for naming this site the Best of Dallas Sports Blog!
Muah!
Best Sports Blog (2007)
Girls Gone Sports
girlsgonesports.net
Once upon a time, the sports gods smiled upon the sports fans of North Texas, which was a nice thing to do considering they'd been acting like jerks lately, what with none of the area teams surviving playoffs. In compensation, the game-friendly gods gave us "Mandy" and "Lauren," two Tarrant County-born, sports-obsessed 20-somethings with access to Blogger, digital cameras and too much free time. The result? Girls Gone Sports, the funniest, snarkiest sports blog on the 'net. GGS combines the newsiness of Deadspin, the sluttiness of Wonkette and the celebrity roasting-ness of Perez Hilton, sprinkled with shots of the GGS bloggers' cleavage alongside items like framed photos of Tony Romo. Instead of a "mock draft," the ladies held a "cock draft," and we suggest you check out the site to see what their prestigious "Panty Creamer of the Week" award is all about. These lady sports bloggers really have some balls.
[Dallas Observer Best of 2007]
Labels: awards, flattery gets you everywhere, holy crap that is awesome
It's a three way tie...
From a friend's apartment with lots of yummy snacks:
"The cowboy's just sent us from a sure thing, to Romo disappointment, to abject hopelessness, to T.O. bashing, to hey can they really call timeout like that, to extreme kicker amazement all in 3.5 hours."
And I couldn't agree more.
"Get the Folk out."
"Let's Folking go Cowboys."
Because using other words that sound like curse words in place of curse words is never not funny.
From a friend's apartment with lots of yummy snacks:
"The cowboy's just sent us from a sure thing, to Romo disappointment, to abject hopelessness, to T.O. bashing, to hey can they really call timeout like that, to extreme kicker amazement all in 3.5 hours."
And I couldn't agree more.
"Get the Folk out."
"Let's Folking go Cowboys."
Because using other words that sound like curse words in place of curse words is never not funny.
Labels: on last nights game, quote of the night
