"A source said that hardcore drinking with Tony Romo landed the twat in the hospital. Jessica tried to keep up with Romo and his friends, but she couldn't hang like that." [Dlisted]

According to Star Mag, yes I know, when Jessy-Poo went in for her "kidney infection" it was actually due to "drinking an obscene amount of alcohol."

How much exactly is an obscene amount? I mean, are we talking pitcher after pitcher and shot after shot? Or does this chick just drink a few white wine spritzers and pass out? Honestly, I can't really say shit here. I'm a petite little lady who also can't quite hold her booze. Most of my night's end up passed out threatening to fight the person who is trying to take my drink out of the clutch of death I have on it. Sad, no?

One night when it was just me and the boys, I decided I would show how good I was at keeping up by going toe to toe with them. Later on that night at the late, late hour of 10pm I was passed out in my front lawn. Another time, after work when our boss took us out and was buying I had to again prove my drinking prowess. After a couple of pitchers and way, way, way too many shots, I started hiccuping and convinced myself I should throw up to get rid of them.

Minutes later I was being carried out of the ladies room where I had passed out on the toilet, pants up, with my head on the TP dispenser.

But I still would like to think that I could out drink Tony Romo. Really all I'm saying is, Tony, drop her and go with me. I will at least hang with you longer, and will make for better stories in the morning. Plus, I won't ask you to take me to the hospital. Not when you have a game like you do on Dec. 7th coming up! (There, I tied it all back up in a neat little package that relates to sports. I'm a hero.)

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1 Responses to “JESSICA SIMPSON CAN NOT HANG WITH THE BOYS, OR OUT DRINK TONY ROMO”

  1. # Blogger Laser Rocket Arm

    It is possible to be a small white woman and have an amazing capacity for hard liquor. I am smaller than Jessica Simpson and I can guarantee Tony Romo and his entourage would be sprawled on the floor muttering inanities before I'd copped a good buzz. My heritage reflects five great drinking countries--Scotland, Ireland, Germany, Quebec and England--and I strive to make them all proud of me. JESSICA IS A FRIGGIN' LIGHTWEIGHT  

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