but goddammit I can still out-karaoke him!
Apparently Tony Romo learned absolutely nothing from either his trip to Mexico with Jessica Simpson or his last visit to Metal Skool, because he was videotaped in public with Jessica Simpson yet again, while singing Journey with Metal Skool after they called him a pussy yet again.
I'm not sure who made the more embarrassing onstage partner, Mr. Belding or Jessica Simpson. Some would argue that having a tranny on stage with you gives it a sort of artsy, cabaret feel, but personally I'd opt for that guy who used to play that principal on that show from the 90s. It's just a little more respectable.
If Roger Goodell is gonna fine guys for silly things like punching strippers, there'd better be a fine for this. Having a room full of people and an 80s cover band call you a pussy just isn't enough.
*EDIT - Now with EVEN MORE awful singing. (Yes, somehow she actually gets paid to do this.)
[Source]
Oh, and in case you were wondering, the other people up there with them are Jessica's bff/sometimes assistant Cacee Cobb and Jessica's main gay/the hairdresser responsible for her brokeass weave, Ken Paves.
Unfortunately, neither Josh Howard nor Dirk Nowitzki took part in this outing - or we might have had some more interesting pictures.
Labels: erick(a) dampier, j.j. barea, jerry stackhouse, mavs
It's not even me trying to pick between the lesser of two evils. On the one hand I have the New York Football Giants. They knocked out my favorite team. On the other hand I have the Perfect Patriots led by Tom Terrrrrific. I'm trying to weigh out the pros and cons of watching the game on Sunday. I plan on going to a friends house so if all else fails I'll just get so shitfaced drunk I will once again think I am watching a Dallas Burn game.
Pros
1) Both team colors are a nice coordinating blue and red
2) Both QB's have healthy heads of hair
3) Uh...
4) Ummm...
5) Halftime show? Tom Petty?
6) ...
7) Well, I guess we have all those great party tips from the Ladies... to enjoy. Wow! An all female sports blog that also talks about cooking and party tips!
Cons
1) It involves the Patriots
2) It involves the Giants
3) Uh...I think that's enough
I guess I do have all the glorious booze to look forward to. And hey! There is a Mavs game on Sunday...I suppose I'll make it. AND OF COURSE THERE IS THE PUPPY BOWL! I personally love the Shih Tzu. However my Shih Tzu is waaaaaay cuter. And Finnigan is super cute. Get the starting line-up here!
Fuck the Pats and G-men, I'm cheering for the puppies!
Labels: laurens awesome paint skills, puppeh, super bowl
Taking in a Metalskool show...oh Tony...will you ever learn? Escorting your drunk, straight to DVD, busted weave girlfriend back to the car.
For shame. Bitch can't hold her booze.
A few days ago when they were allegedly broken up a friend of mine said, "See? Tony doesn't keep any girlfriends. He just keeps bitches he fucks." This friend must be wrong. Oh Tony...I am disappointed. At least when she's drunk she keeps that big 'ole mouth closed. I was about to say something along the lines of "she keeps that mouth full of something" or "at least Tony has done something right this year because that bitch has a huge mouth" but alas...I didn't. I'm getting lazy.
[Dlisted]
Labels: drunk, jessica simpson better watch her back, tony romo
The crush this site has on Mike Modano has been noted. He is a hunk of a man.
Apparently, he is also a jerk. This comes from a friend of mine who would like to remain anonymous. So I shouldn't mention the fact that his name sounds like Riverbend Squeeze.
So I was assisting on a photo shoot for a couple of Dallas Stars. We did some shots on the ice and then we were setting up for a shoot in the locker room before the players got in there. Modano came in early and was a real douche. He was pointing at the equipment and started yelling "Get this shit outta here!" and when no one responded he pointed at me and said, "Hey you! Hey you little shit! Get this shit outta here!" At first I was like, is Modano calling me a little shit? I'm 6'4" and just minding my own business and some hot shot hockey player starts calling me a little shit.
How could that face be a jerk? It's too hot...
I told him he should have said something to him and tried to fight him, but he told me that he wanted to have a job in the future. Psh.
And I know this shouldn't surprise me as most rich, attractive athletes would be Grade A bags of douche, but he seemed like such a sweet guy. And just to make you fellas out there dislike him ever more, remember who he sleeps next to:
Yep. I bet Marty Turco is your new favorite Star.
Labels: dallas stars, hot, mike modano
Delilah DiCrescenzo is a runner who was also the inspiration for the song "Hey there Delilah" by the Plain White Tees.
She is an Olympic hopeful and at the same time responsible for a really annoying song. She isn't dating the singer of the song, and never was. But she is going with him to the Grammys next week because she hopes to, and I quote:
"humanize track and field before this summer's Olympics in Beijing"
Awww. That is so sweet.
I was going to say something about how I wished she was never born because that song gets on my last nerve and everywhere I went last summer it was on but I changed my mind. I feel sorry for her. Having a song like that written about me and having to hear it everywhere would annoy the crap outta me. I can't imagine how she feels. Having a song like "Layla" or "Wonderful Tonight" would be one thing...but "Hey there Delilah"? Not so much. Pattie Boyd she is not. Poor thing.
Anyways you can see the whole interview with her here if you are so inclined. She's kinda cute and like I said, pity her, don't hate her. Forever she will be reminded of that guy who hit on her with the line:
" 'I have a song about you already.' Obviously, there was no song. But I thought it was smooth..."
God. Lame.
[Ed. Note: All along I thought the song was about this Delilah. Man was I off.]
Labels: annoying, hey there SHUT THE FUCK UP, kickin lyrics straight to your brain, sort of related to sports
IF HE CAN'T HAVE TONY, T.O. WILL GET HIS OWN BLONDE CELEBRITY GIRLFRIEND WHOSE MOVIES GO STRAIGHT TO DVD
6 Comments Published by mandy on 1/23/2008 at 21:10.
Paris Hilton was in Dallas yesterday night to premiere her new movie "The Hottie and the Nottie." After the premiere she headed off to the notoriously shitty Ghostbar (yeah, we won't be on that guest list again...) for her after party. And who should she run into but Terrell Owens? They were caught exchanging numbers.
I'm not saying T.O. is copying Tony Romo's life, but Tony does have a history of taking his blonde love interests to Ghostbar and is also currently dating a shitty blonde "actress" who's known for being dull as a rock. Wait, actually that's exactly what I'm saying.
He's wearing sunglasses so you can't see the yearning in his eyes.
[Source]
You can also see more pics here.
Labels: paris hilton, terrell owens
I'm taking a break from hacking up what appears to be ooze and bring you these links to other sites:
Tom Brady wears the latest in boot fashion from Valentino's good bye line... [Dan Shanoff]
Really, Osi should be with Kim Kardashian, not Reggie Bush. She's already proved she likes potty time on her body. But here she is with the Bush man at Sundance...[With Leather]
David Beckham whips up some panty pudding for me while in Sierra Leone for UNICEF...[Jezebel]
Tom Brady wears the latest in boot fashion from Valentino's good bye line... [Dan Shanoff]
Really, Osi should be with Kim Kardashian, not Reggie Bush. She's already proved she likes potty time on her body. But here she is with the Bush man at Sundance...[With Leather]
David Beckham whips up some panty pudding for me while in Sierra Leone for UNICEF...[Jezebel]
Special thanks to Jay who sent 2 of the links above...
Labels: down with the sickness, links, phoning it in
I'm sick. And I'm pretty sure Mandy has locked herself in an Oxygen Chamber to get over her sickness. (This would be one of those great days for the reader tips to pour in so we don't actually have to do anything...)
So unless the meds kick in later...don't expect too much from either of us today. Send soup, tissues, Riiiiiiiiicolas, hot tea with honey, back rubs, and thoughts of good health our way please. Until we come back, enjoy the song that is stuck in my head:
Play it now...play it now....ahhh sing it Neil.
So unless the meds kick in later...don't expect too much from either of us today. Send soup, tissues, Riiiiiiiiicolas, hot tea with honey, back rubs, and thoughts of good health our way please. Until we come back, enjoy the song that is stuck in my head:
Play it now...play it now....ahhh sing it Neil.
Labels: down with the sickness, i think i just sneezed out a small planet, neil diamond saves the day
If recent history has taught us anything, it's that at least one quarterback playing in the Super Bowl has to be a total drunk.
and now
I'm sorry Brett, it just wasn't meant to be.
and nowI'm sorry Brett, it just wasn't meant to be.
Labels: ben roflsberger, drunk, eli manning, sexy rexy, super bowl
The hottest cheerleaders in America:
There boys. Let the DCC be your eye candy for the week. See? I can give.
Labels: cheerleaders, dallas cowboys cheerleaders, hot, its not everyday that hitler is in a tag
No words. Laughing. Too. Hard.
Labels: dallas cowboys, its not everyday that hitler is in a tag, youtube goodness
Yes. Yes we can. But it's Friday and I'm not quite functioning yet. I'm just waiting for that 5 o'clock whistle to blow and to skip my way into my local watering hole and drink myself sick.
So until that time comes, we had a reader tip us off to the following video. And since we LOVE reader tips here it is:
Yeah, I kinda wanna punch that guy in the balls.
Thanks to Bryan
So until that time comes, we had a reader tip us off to the following video. And since we LOVE reader tips here it is:
Yeah, I kinda wanna punch that guy in the balls.
Thanks to Bryan
Labels: tips tips tips tips from the public, youtube goodness
First the kid who wore his Favre jersey everyday for 4 years straight, then the Green Bay-themed home, and now comes this story of yet another insane Packers fan:
Upset that his 7-year-old son wouldn't wear a Green Bay Packers jersey during the team's playoff victory Saturday, a man restrained the boy for an hour with tape and taped the jersey onto him.
36-year-old Father of the Year Matthew Kowald was arrested Monday after his wife informed authorities of the incident. Kowald was taken to the county jail and held until Wednesday, when he pleaded no contest to disorderly conduct, paid a fine of $186 and was released.
The boy refused to wear the jersey Saturday, when the Packers beat the Seattle Seahawks in a playoff game, Smith said. Smith said the incident sounded strange when reported at first, but the mother took pictures with her cellphone and that type of evidence is difficult to dispute.
Kowald's wife also filed a restraining order against him as "other domestic issues have surfaced." Hmm...I wonder what on earth those "other issues" could be?
This story comes just months after a previous story of perfect Packer parenting, so I know what you're thinking [alliteration!] - Green Bay Packers fans are crazy, unfit parents. And yes, yes they are. But for people who wear cheese as clothing and get married in terrible theme ceremonies, they're actually not nearly as bad as you'd think they'd be. It kinda gives you hope for Britney Spears.
[Source]
Labels: green bay packers
Girls Gone Sports would like to remind you that we still have a firm stance on our "Not letting professional athletes poop on us" rule. No, not even for money. Not even for a diamond snow ball.
Osi, this means YOU.
"I'm a freak, but my gosh."
[Kissing Suzy Kolber and With Leather]
Osi, this means YOU.
"I'm a freak, but my gosh."
(Everybody keeps saying this isn't true. But I like any excuse to use the "disturbing images i apologize for" tag.)
[Kissing Suzy Kolber and With Leather]
Labels: disturbing images i apologize for, poop, site news
PACMAN JONES STILL JOCKIN' THE BITCHES, SLAPPIN' THE HOES
3 Comments Published by mandy on at 13:14.
So Pacman Jones is in trouble with the law again. For hitting a woman. Again. I know, I know, I couldn't believe it either...
It's been nearly a year since Pacman was last busted for beating down a woman at a strip club, but fear not, he was at it again on January 3rd.
Suspended Tennessee Titans cornerback Adam “Pacman” Jones is accused of striking a woman in a north Atlanta strip club in the early morning hours of Jan. 3.
The woman, an Atlanta defense attorney named Wanda Jackson, filed a report with Atlanta police against Jones, whom she accused of striking her in the Body Tap Strip Club around 3 a.m. on the day in question.
***
According to the report, Jones and Jackson, whom the report said is handling a divorce case apparently involving the Titans football player, began arguing in the club. Jackson alleges that Jones punched her in the left eye, causing a bruise.
According to the police report, Jones is accused of assault and battery and, according to a WSB television report, Jackson has filed for the issuance of an arrest warrant in Fulton County Magistrate Court. That will be heard on Feb. 8 before a magistrate, who will determine whether a warrant will be issued for Jones’ arrest.
Yup, that brings the total number of times that Pacman has been questioned or involved in a police investigation since 2005 to 12. Impressive. Roger Goodell is scheduled to review his case for reinstatement into the NFL after the Pro Bowl, so this can't be good for him. But he's Pacman Jones, so he's pretty much allergic to things that are good for him.
The only thing I find shocking about this story is what that female lawyer was doing at a strip club in the first place. Apparently lawyering doesn't pay what I thought it did and I'm going to need to get a part-time job at a strip club. I guess it's customary. There's so much they leave out in law school.
See you on the pole. (And you'd better make it rain.)
[Source]
Labels: the rainmaker
This post, and the last post, are a little bit country. However I am more than definitely a little bit rock 'n roll. But when something this sweet and heartwarming comes around it must be posted.
Two proven superstars — on the music charts and on the football field — were no match for some young patients at Cook Children's Medical Center.
Country singer Garth Brooks and Hall of Fame quarterback Troy Aikman on Tuesday picked up video-playing pointers from hospitalized kids in Fort Worth.
The crooner and the Dallas Cowboy-turned-television-sportscaster helped unveil an updated therapeutic playroom for patients called the Zone Playroom.
Brooks joined forces with the NHL, the NHL Players Association and the entertainer's own Teammates for Kids Foundation to donate the space. The area formerly was known as Aikman's End Zone.
Country singer Garth Brooks and Hall of Fame quarterback Troy Aikman on Tuesday picked up video-playing pointers from hospitalized kids in Fort Worth.
The crooner and the Dallas Cowboy-turned-television-sportscaster helped unveil an updated therapeutic playroom for patients called the Zone Playroom.
Brooks joined forces with the NHL, the NHL Players Association and the entertainer's own Teammates for Kids Foundation to donate the space. The area formerly was known as Aikman's End Zone.
Ok, take a break. OMG. That is so sweet.
"We wanted to do something for them because they spend all day in their bedrooms," Aikman said, "and we just wanted to get them out of there so they could have a little bit of fun."
Brooks, wearing a cowboy hat, at one point popped the topper on the head of Aikman, whose efforts at video air guitar still failed. Brooks, turning to card games, played Go Fish with several children.
Brooks, wearing a cowboy hat, at one point popped the topper on the head of Aikman, whose efforts at video air guitar still failed. Brooks, turning to card games, played Go Fish with several children.
As someone who has had a family member treated at Cook's this really warms my heart. But as sweet as it is, I think Mandy and I could both kick Troy's ass at Guitar Hero or Rock Band.
[AP]
Labels: friends in low places is a great karaoke song, garth brooks, kiddos, troy aikman
TERRY BRADSHAW'S DAUGHTER SUPRISINGLY WAY LESS UGLY THAN YOU'D THINK
3 Comments Published by mandy on at 11:02.
Typically, when your dad looks like Terry Bradshaw, about the most you can aspire to in life is being the girl with "a really great personality." But Rachel Bradshaw seems to have hit the genetic lottery and inherited absolutely no DNA from her father. I wouldn't even believe that she was his daughter if they didn't share the undeniable father-daughter bond of country music.
You see, Terry put out his own country album back in 1976 and now Rachel is following in her father's footsteps by appearing on the already-on-hiatus Fox reality show Nashville. Apparently this show debuted back in September, which makes this really old news, but I pretty much just used this story as an excuse to post this picture from the back of Terry's album cover. Because it can never be posted too many times. So think about that when you try to tell me that this story is old.
And now to rid that image from your mind.....here's more Rachel. (And here's hoping she also inherited dad's love of baring his ass on film.)
[Source]
Labels: rachel bradshaw, terry bradshaw
PANTY CREAMERS OF THE WEEK: GETTING THAT BITTER TASTE OUT OF OUR MOUTHS
8 Comments Published by lauren on 1/14/2008 at 11:57.
With both of our teams gone Mandy and I need something to help us get over our NFL blues...
Tommy Hass outta do it. But just in case...
Manuele Blasi, Gennaro Gattuso, Andrea Pirlo, Gianluca Zambrotta, Fabio Cannavaro outta do the trick. They are old photos but nothing says I'm getting over my favorite team's loss like Italian soccer players modeling Dolce and Gabbana underwear.
Tommy Hass outta do it. But just in case...Manuele Blasi, Gennaro Gattuso, Andrea Pirlo, Gianluca Zambrotta, Fabio Cannavaro outta do the trick. They are old photos but nothing says I'm getting over my favorite team's loss like Italian soccer players modeling Dolce and Gabbana underwear.
I bet those fellas have something that can help us get that horrible taste out of our mouths...
[Images from Towleroad]
Labels: german jizz probably tastes like beer mmmm, italian soccer players in their underoos, panty creamer
WHAT KEEPS A DALLAS FAN FROM HANGING BY THE NECK UNTIL DEAD?
28 Comments Published by lauren on 1/13/2008 at 20:34.
I mean honestly? What keeps us from putting the noose on and knocking the stool out from underneath? What keeps us from drinking that delicious drano? What stops us from "cleaning that gun"? What makes the fans of Dallas sports stop themselves from jumping in front of that train that crosses over highway 360?
BEATS THE SHIT OUTTA ME!
It'd be easy if you could blame one person, but that whole team lost it. It'd be easy to blame the choke artist Romo (what's up playoff choker ala oldest Manning sibling), hell, it'd be easy to blame the defense, o-line, special teams, coaching staff, ball boys, cheerleaders, little kids who get to go onto the field for contests that involve Dr. Pepper give-aways, or anyone in that stadium (except for me because I screamed so loud every time I breathe deep it feels like the Sparta 300 are attacking my trachea). But the Giants didn't beat them, the Cowboys beat themselves.
But I'm trying to not let the loss ruin my awesome day. Not only did I flip the bird to a child, I also gave a flat tire to a Giants fan in the ladies restroom after complimenting her shoes (I never claimed to be a lady of class or elegance). I drank my weight in free booze at the Miller Lite tailgate tent and flirted my way into some free tickets to something to do with wrestling (I was drunk and thought they were Van Halen tickets) from the 93.3 The Bone give away truck.
Something that did manage to ruin part of the day was the lack of fan support in my section of the stadium. Many times I would be the only one standing, calling for others to get on their feet. But man, I'd rather be the girl with the painted hair, pom-poms flying and screaming for my team than the chump who paid upwards of $150 a seat sitting on my hands doing what I could be doing at home. Fuck. That.
All I can hope for now is Tom Brady, Eli Manning and Jessica Simpson's arms will fall off. Because paraplegics don't know how to rock. And I'd rather rock than win.
The team lost it for themselves, Romo is the new playoff choke artist, I'm rooting for LT because he came from TCU, I'm not going to Cabo this summer, the popcorn was ready for you TO but now you need some Kleenex, my throat is so sore I might OD on throat lozenges, and I might not be able to drink another Sparks because me pee is neon yellow and that can't be good.
But hey, the sun will come up tomorrow. I will go to work, then to school and carry on my wayward son.
Because in the end it could all be worse: I could be a Redskins fan.
Labels: dallas cowboys, ica simpson better watch her back, jessica simpson better watch her back, sad, the only thing that will cheer me up is getting laid
Called it. Now shut up about him already.
Who thought Eli would be the Manning to bet on today?!
Any bets on who Jerry Jones will fire tomorrow?
Labels: dallas cowboys, jessica simpson better watch her back, man i hate the cowboys, there is a god, tony romo
I love Snoooooooooooow!!!
[Getty Images]
Labels: brett favre, heated benches are for pussies, lots of snow, no really a shit ton of snow
The similarities are ridiculous.
Whoa.
A red-headed Steelers' cheerleader with green eyes and a big smile. That's just freaky.
A red-headed Steelers' cheerleader with green eyes and a big smile. That's just freaky.
Labels: cheerleaders, mandy's sexiness, pittsburgh steelers
In today's episode of posts abstractly related to sports....
Yesterday was the season premiere of Celebrity Rehab. The show features, among others, former pro wrestler Chyna (Doll). Here's a clip of her and Mary Carey talking about strap-ons. Because that's exactly the mental image you want when you think of Chyna. You can thank me later.
You can also find more clips here.
Yesterday was the season premiere of Celebrity Rehab. The show features, among others, former pro wrestler Chyna (Doll). Here's a clip of her and Mary Carey talking about strap-ons. Because that's exactly the mental image you want when you think of Chyna. You can thank me later.
You can also find more clips here.
Labels: chyna, posts abstractly related to sports
And pro-Cowboys! Yeah!
Now that I've taken a break from deep-frying a ham, bombing abortion clinics, cleaning my gun, and sleeping with my cousin, I'll post up some songs about the Cowboys:
Found here!
Clearly "Money for Punting" is my favorite because of my hardcore love of Dire Straits and Mat McBriar.
Now that I've got that out of the way it's time to read my Bible and drink a 24 pack of Lone Star.
[Ed. note: All joking aside I don't give two shits if Mandy wants to rant about the Cowboys. I know lots of people hate them. I'm not one of those crazy fans who is gonna not be friends with someone just because they don't like my favorite team. A team I was raised on and will raise my children on one day. And Mandy's right, we don't talk about our favorite teams, we just talk about boys all the time! Tee hee hee! Giggle giggle! Pillow fight!]
[Ed. note part deux: Spurs fans need not apply for friendship. There are some things I can stand, but Spurs fans can lick a cactus and then lick my ass. Wait, other way around. Lick my ass, then lick a cactus. I don't want cactus needles in my asshole.]
[Ed. note trois: I love Lone Star beer. That was not a joke. I am polishing off a 24 pack as I type.]
[Ed. note quatre: Yes, I am making fun of the Ed. note.]
Now that I've taken a break from deep-frying a ham, bombing abortion clinics, cleaning my gun, and sleeping with my cousin, I'll post up some songs about the Cowboys:
Found here!
Clearly "Money for Punting" is my favorite because of my hardcore love of Dire Straits and Mat McBriar.
Now that I've got that out of the way it's time to read my Bible and drink a 24 pack of Lone Star.
[Ed. note: All joking aside I don't give two shits if Mandy wants to rant about the Cowboys. I know lots of people hate them. I'm not one of those crazy fans who is gonna not be friends with someone just because they don't like my favorite team. A team I was raised on and will raise my children on one day. And Mandy's right, we don't talk about our favorite teams, we just talk about boys all the time! Tee hee hee! Giggle giggle! Pillow fight!]
[Ed. note part deux: Spurs fans need not apply for friendship. There are some things I can stand, but Spurs fans can lick a cactus and then lick my ass. Wait, other way around. Lick my ass, then lick a cactus. I don't want cactus needles in my asshole.]
[Ed. note trois: I love Lone Star beer. That was not a joke. I am polishing off a 24 pack as I type.]
[Ed. note quatre: Yes, I am making fun of the Ed. note.]
Labels: dallas cowboys, dont hate my because im beautiful hate me because i fucking LOVE the cowboys, kickin lyrics straight to your brain, post that involve licking laurens ass
Warning: Rant Ahead! Not for the tl;dr crowd! Just head on down the page to the next post!
As I mentioned earlier this week, I've been tormented lately by the thought of a Patriots v. Cowboys Super Bowl. Sure, I know the playoffs are different from the regular season and anything can happen (6th seed!) but as of right now that terrible possibility is still lurking around the corner and I think it needs to be addressed.
Why would this be such an evil Super Bowl you ask? [Ed. Note - Actually you probably didn't ask, but I'm going to tell you anyways.] Patriots v. Cowboys would be an evil, unwatchable Super Bowl because it pits the two most unlikeable teams in the NFL against each other - there will be no underdogs, there will be no feel good stories, there will be only pure, unmitigated hate - so who the hell are you supposed to root for?
Here are my, and America's, problems with both teams:
THE DALLAS COWBOYS
Ok, so as a yinzer I'm a little biased here. There was a joke when I was growing up outside Pittsburgh that went "What's your favorite football team? The Stillers. What's your second favorite football team? Whoever's playing the Cowboys."
But notwithstanding that disclosure, the Dallas Cowboys are still one of, if not the most, reviled team in America. This is such an accepted fact that I've heard it casually mentioned at least 3 times during Monday/Sunday Night Football this season alone. (And I didn't even watch all the games!) People have the kind of hatred for the Cowboys that inspires them to write books about it.
Don't believe me? Just do a cursory Google search for "I hate the Dallas Cowboys." You'll see. (Just for comparisons sake, a Google search for "I hate the Pittsburgh Steelers" yields only an interview with Carson Palmer and a website that makes I hate [your favorite team] shirts.)
Sure, their fans are probably screaming "America's Team!" by now and they might even point to that Harris Interactive Poll earlier this year that labeled the Cowboys the most popular team in America, but I'll take the 220,354 person Scarborough Sports Marketing survey that declared the Steelers and the Packers the most popular teams in the NFL (Dallas wasn't even in the top 10) over that 2,392 person, 1,182 of whom follow professional football, Harris Interactive survey. I think even the Campbell's Chunky Click For Cans results are more reliable than that survey.
One of the reasons I think the Cowboys are so unlikeable is because they insist upon themselves. Season after season they declare themselves the greatest team in the NFL, despite the fact that they haven't won a playoff game since 1996. They call themselves "America's Team" when most of America hates them or couldn't care less about them. They proclaim Tony Romo the son of God despite the fact that he's never won a playoff game and has choked hardcore and cost them on multiple occasions. (People sure weren't that kind or prone to hyperbole towards Peyton Manning before he won the Super Bowl.) He's more famous for his love life than his prowess on the field.
Another reason the Cowboys are so unlikeable is because their fans are the biggest assholes in America. Trust me. Just come to Dallas and watch a game with these douchebags. I've had multiple Cowboys fans remark to me that they can't stand to be in a bar with other Cowboys fans - they are just that awful.
The Cowboys fan is a powerful combination of inbreeding and unwarranted arrogance. The only thing a Cowboys fan loves more than the Cowboys would be a deep-fried gun that shoots out Bible verses and prevents women from having abortions. And even then it'd have to be camo and come with a case of Lone Star or Pabst Blue Ribbon.
Ugh. I have no words to express how deeply I hate Cowboys fans and I can't wait for more unintelligible, semi-literate "Omg Tony Romo is teh best!!!1 Ben Roflsburger didn't wear a helmet and crashed his motorcycle!" comments from those mouth-breathers. It only proves my point.
As for the players, they aren't really any more likeable than the fans. The Cowboys have a storied history of douchey players and hardened felons on their roster - from Michael Irvin to T.O.
Do I even need to mention Jerry Jones or that godawful "How 'bout them Cowboys?" slogan?
It's just impossible to like these guys and get behind them. We'd all rather see them fail. Nothing makes me happier than a disappointed Cowboys fan. Legend has it, every time a Cowboys fan cries, an angel gets its wings.
[Ed. Note - You're probably asking yourself how I can be friends with Lauren, a loyal Cryboys fan. Well, the answer is quite simple. We never discuss our respective teams. We just make fun of the remaining 30.]
THE NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS
There isn't much to say on this front that hasn't already been said. But in short, they're hateable because:
1. They cheat. Repeatedly. And they really don't give a fuck what you think about it.
2. Bill Belichick is the Archdouche of the NFL - he's a smug, conniving, unrepentant, wife-stealing, stupid-cutoff-hoodie-wearing, evil genius. You know you want to punch that shit-eating grin off his face. I sure do.
3. That whole holier than thou "winning with class" bullshit. They talk more trash than most teams.
4. Randy "I play when I want to play" Moss - the T.O. of the Patriots.
5. They've got a monopoly on winning the Super Bowl lately. Fans love dynasties; everyone else hates them. Enough already.
6. Massholes.
7. Did I mention that they cheat?
So yeah, pretty much the only way I could enjoy, or even watch, a possible Super Bowl between these two would be if a meteor crashed into the University of Phoenix Stadium killing all the players, the fans, and Chris Berman.
As I mentioned earlier this week, I've been tormented lately by the thought of a Patriots v. Cowboys Super Bowl. Sure, I know the playoffs are different from the regular season and anything can happen (6th seed!) but as of right now that terrible possibility is still lurking around the corner and I think it needs to be addressed.
Why would this be such an evil Super Bowl you ask? [Ed. Note - Actually you probably didn't ask, but I'm going to tell you anyways.] Patriots v. Cowboys would be an evil, unwatchable Super Bowl because it pits the two most unlikeable teams in the NFL against each other - there will be no underdogs, there will be no feel good stories, there will be only pure, unmitigated hate - so who the hell are you supposed to root for?
Here are my, and America's, problems with both teams:
THE DALLAS COWBOYS
Ok, so as a yinzer I'm a little biased here. There was a joke when I was growing up outside Pittsburgh that went "What's your favorite football team? The Stillers. What's your second favorite football team? Whoever's playing the Cowboys."
But notwithstanding that disclosure, the Dallas Cowboys are still one of, if not the most, reviled team in America. This is such an accepted fact that I've heard it casually mentioned at least 3 times during Monday/Sunday Night Football this season alone. (And I didn't even watch all the games!) People have the kind of hatred for the Cowboys that inspires them to write books about it.
Don't believe me? Just do a cursory Google search for "I hate the Dallas Cowboys." You'll see. (Just for comparisons sake, a Google search for "I hate the Pittsburgh Steelers" yields only an interview with Carson Palmer and a website that makes I hate [your favorite team] shirts.)
Sure, their fans are probably screaming "America's Team!" by now and they might even point to that Harris Interactive Poll earlier this year that labeled the Cowboys the most popular team in America, but I'll take the 220,354 person Scarborough Sports Marketing survey that declared the Steelers and the Packers the most popular teams in the NFL (Dallas wasn't even in the top 10) over that 2,392 person, 1,182 of whom follow professional football, Harris Interactive survey. I think even the Campbell's Chunky Click For Cans results are more reliable than that survey.
One of the reasons I think the Cowboys are so unlikeable is because they insist upon themselves. Season after season they declare themselves the greatest team in the NFL, despite the fact that they haven't won a playoff game since 1996. They call themselves "America's Team" when most of America hates them or couldn't care less about them. They proclaim Tony Romo the son of God despite the fact that he's never won a playoff game and has choked hardcore and cost them on multiple occasions. (People sure weren't that kind or prone to hyperbole towards Peyton Manning before he won the Super Bowl.) He's more famous for his love life than his prowess on the field.
Another reason the Cowboys are so unlikeable is because their fans are the biggest assholes in America. Trust me. Just come to Dallas and watch a game with these douchebags. I've had multiple Cowboys fans remark to me that they can't stand to be in a bar with other Cowboys fans - they are just that awful.
The Cowboys fan is a powerful combination of inbreeding and unwarranted arrogance. The only thing a Cowboys fan loves more than the Cowboys would be a deep-fried gun that shoots out Bible verses and prevents women from having abortions. And even then it'd have to be camo and come with a case of Lone Star or Pabst Blue Ribbon.
Ugh. I have no words to express how deeply I hate Cowboys fans and I can't wait for more unintelligible, semi-literate "Omg Tony Romo is teh best!!!1 Ben Roflsburger didn't wear a helmet and crashed his motorcycle!" comments from those mouth-breathers. It only proves my point.
As for the players, they aren't really any more likeable than the fans. The Cowboys have a storied history of douchey players and hardened felons on their roster - from Michael Irvin to T.O.
Do I even need to mention Jerry Jones or that godawful "How 'bout them Cowboys?" slogan?
It's just impossible to like these guys and get behind them. We'd all rather see them fail. Nothing makes me happier than a disappointed Cowboys fan. Legend has it, every time a Cowboys fan cries, an angel gets its wings.
[Ed. Note - You're probably asking yourself how I can be friends with Lauren, a loyal Cryboys fan. Well, the answer is quite simple. We never discuss our respective teams. We just make fun of the remaining 30.]
THE NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS
There isn't much to say on this front that hasn't already been said. But in short, they're hateable because:
1. They cheat. Repeatedly. And they really don't give a fuck what you think about it.
2. Bill Belichick is the Archdouche of the NFL - he's a smug, conniving, unrepentant, wife-stealing, stupid-cutoff-hoodie-wearing, evil genius. You know you want to punch that shit-eating grin off his face. I sure do.
3. That whole holier than thou "winning with class" bullshit. They talk more trash than most teams.
4. Randy "I play when I want to play" Moss - the T.O. of the Patriots.
5. They've got a monopoly on winning the Super Bowl lately. Fans love dynasties; everyone else hates them. Enough already.
6. Massholes.
7. Did I mention that they cheat?
So yeah, pretty much the only way I could enjoy, or even watch, a possible Super Bowl between these two would be if a meteor crashed into the University of Phoenix Stadium killing all the players, the fans, and Chris Berman.
Labels: dallas cowboys, man i hate the cowboys, new england patriots, rants, super bowl
I don't usually cut and past entire articles from other sources, but this one is just too good. [Ed. Note - This is not true. There's actually not a single word of original text on this site. We cut and paste literally everything on here; we just usually don't bother crediting the original source.]
Does this story really even need a punchline? I think not. Just go ahead and stock up on those Dashboard Confessional cds, cut your hair like Pete Wentz, and get some horn-rimmed glasses Serena. However, I'd think twice before purchasing those black skinny jeans. Maybe those aren't for you. Oh yeah, and it's down the highway, not across the street.
[Yahoo! Sports]
Australian Open champion Serena Williams has revealed that she will defend her title this month nursing a broken heart -- and that she has found solace in a book called "Who Moved My Cheese?"Williams bares her feelings in her blog on the official website www.serenawilliams.com, unloading her angst at putting her faith in a boyfriend then being dumped.
"Trust is something you vowed you would never do again, but slowly your heart comes out of its steel enclosure," she wrote in the entry posted on her website Monday.
"You feel like you can trust him, you feel as if everything you went through was for a reason, and the reason was to meet him."
.....
Williams reveals that as "weeks turn into months" her bliss sours as her beau fails to declare his love.
"No, not the 'L' word, but what you have been most afraid of," she wrote.
"What deep in your heart you have been afraid to confront. What you always suspected would happen one day sooner or later. HE STOPS CALLING. You panic."
Williams details how she felt foolish and hurt at losing the chance to find a soulmate, concluding "eventually you know you will find the keys to your heart, but also in the back of your mind you think ... will it happen again?"
In another entry, Williams writes about the changes the break-up brought to her life.
"I decided to rid myself of relationships that could stop me from reaching the main goal which is being the best," she wrote. "I did not want anything to stand in my way of doing what I do best, which is playing tennis."
She said she found comfort in the book "Who Moved My Cheese?" by motivational author Spencer Johnson, who likens mice in a maze hunting for cheese to humans searching for happiness and success.
"Basically, it was talking about complacency and being afraid of change," Williams wrote.
"I then realised that I was afraid to change, afraid to move on. I was afraid to find new cheese! I thought there was only one cheese out there but after reading that book I realised that there is all types of cheese out there."
Does this story really even need a punchline? I think not. Just go ahead and stock up on those Dashboard Confessional cds, cut your hair like Pete Wentz, and get some horn-rimmed glasses Serena. However, I'd think twice before purchasing those black skinny jeans. Maybe those aren't for you. Oh yeah, and it's down the highway, not across the street.
[Yahoo! Sports]
Labels: emo horseshit, serena williams, tennis
So I'm going to Cowboys first playoff game this Sunday. I've already got pom-poms, cow bells, beads, hair paint, tee shirt, and face paint.
But I've decided I might scrap most of that and just use the face paint for this:
I hope it isn't chilly.Labels: body paint applied by the highest bidder, dallas cowboys
YOUR DAILY REMINDER TO CONTINUE HATING TOM BRADY & THE PATRIOTS
1 Comments Published by mandy on at 03:46.
Labels: gisele, new england patriots, tom brady
I'm trying to figure out who Baron Davis looks like in these pictures:
The sunglasses and bandanna is what's doing it...but I can't put my finger on who he looks like. It's driving me crazy. The sunglasses scream Big Gay Al...
And the bandanna is crying out Bret Michaels...
But damn it...I can't put my finger on who he reminds me of...
Give me your suggestions in the comments.
[Photo - Drunk Athlete]
Labels: baron davis, drunk, party party party
I didn't think I'd ever see it. Certainly not in south Texas.
But there he stood at the bar... Right before my very eyes.... Watching the Cowboys-Redskins game. Drinking what appeared to be a Bud light (at a bar that had an amazing selection of beer)...
*throws smoke bomb onto floor and waves arms about in a magical, sexy way*
But there he stood at the bar... Right before my very eyes.... Watching the Cowboys-Redskins game. Drinking what appeared to be a Bud light (at a bar that had an amazing selection of beer)...
*throws smoke bomb onto floor and waves arms about in a magical, sexy way*
*makes "poof" noise* BEHOLD! The phantom Brady Quinn jersey!!!!!
*ooohs and ahhs from audience*
Rest your eyes upon it, for ye may never see it...AGAIN!
*throws another smoke bomb, disappears into a cloud of sexy smoke*
[Photo credit - ME]
Labels: brady quinn, magic creeps me out, ugh seriously
Dallas Cowboys Tony Romo and Jason Witten enjoyed their bye week by relaxing in Cabo San Lucas this weekend. Instead of making the smart decision and partying it up with Sammy Hagar at the Cabo Wabo Cantina, they instead opted to hang out with everyone's favorite tranny, Jessica Simpson, and her creepy, creepy father. And you thought Romo's play calling was bad last Sunday...
If he keeps up his string of bad decisions and if Jessica Simpson shows up in the stands on Sunday, I'm predicting Giants 56, Cowboys -10. That's not even possible you say? Just wait.
Somewhere Eli Manning is tenting his fingers like Mr. Burns and saying "Excellennnnt."
Labels: jason witten, jessica simpson better watch her back, tony romo
