THE KENTUCKY DERBY: ANOTHER GOOD REASON TO DRINK
4 Comments Published by lauren on 4/28/2008 at 11:10.
(Not me pictured)I don't really need an excuse to put bourbon in a glass and gulp it down, but it helps to have an excuse to wear a gigantic, frilly hat. The Kentucky Derby is just that for me.
My family loves horse racing, any excuse to gamble away our life savings, and the Derby is no exception. So for you, fair reader, today Mandy and I are providing the Girls Gone Sports Mint Julep recipe, sure to get you wasted while you watch the ponies. And because we are such lovely and providing bloggers we also have a link for you to bet on the "Fastest Two Minutes in Sports" (funny, I thought that was Ashley Cole's nickname for how fast he was in the sack) for some good ole fashion betting away your daughter's college fund on the Derby.
My family loves horse racing, any excuse to gamble away our life savings, and the Derby is no exception. So for you, fair reader, today Mandy and I are providing the Girls Gone Sports Mint Julep recipe, sure to get you wasted while you watch the ponies. And because we are such lovely and providing bloggers we also have a link for you to bet on the "Fastest Two Minutes in Sports" (funny, I thought that was Ashley Cole's nickname for how fast he was in the sack) for some good ole fashion betting away your daughter's college fund on the Derby.
GGS Mint Julep
2 cups sugar
2 cups water
Sprigs of fresh mint
Crushed ice
Bottle of Barbaro Maker's Mark Bourbon (or any cheap bottle you can find)
2 Large glasses, preferably metal ones so they get really freakin' cold (Just get 2 large cocktail shakers, that'll do just fine)
Make syrup by boiling the water and sugar together for about 5 minutes. Let the syrup cool and place it in a container with a lid. Add in mint leaves, whole and crushed, and let it sit in the fridge overnight. Make both of your Juleps, one at a time, by filling your large cocktail shaker with crushed ice, add in 2 tablespoons of the mint syrup and as much bourbon as it takes to fill the shaker to the top. Garnish with a sprig of mint and enjoy!
Girls Gone Sports, getting you fucked up since 2007.
GirlsGoneSports and GirlsGoneSports Inc. takes no responsibility for your drinking habits, you boozehound. 21 means 21. Drink responsibly. Don't drink and drive. Any one who looks to be under the age of "40" will be carded. Chants of "DRINK TILL WE DIE" and "CHUG" will be tolerated but not enforced. All right reserved. You have the right to remain wasted.
Labels: chronic alcoholism, kentucky derby, mint julep, playing the ponies
JESSICA SIMPSON CAN NOT HANG WITH THE BOYS, OR OUT DRINK TONY ROMO
1 Comments Published by lauren on 4/18/2008 at 12:40.
"A source said that hardcore drinking with Tony Romo landed the twat in the hospital. Jessica tried to keep up with Romo and his friends, but she couldn't hang like that." [Dlisted]
According to Star Mag, yes I know, when Jessy-Poo went in for her "kidney infection" it was actually due to "drinking an obscene amount of alcohol."
How much exactly is an obscene amount? I mean, are we talking pitcher after pitcher and shot after shot? Or does this chick just drink a few white wine spritzers and pass out? Honestly, I can't really say shit here. I'm a petite little lady who also can't quite hold her booze. Most of my night's end up passed out threatening to fight the person who is trying to take my drink out of the clutch of death I have on it. Sad, no?
One night when it was just me and the boys, I decided I would show how good I was at keeping up by going toe to toe with them. Later on that night at the late, late hour of 10pm I was passed out in my front lawn. Another time, after work when our boss took us out and was buying I had to again prove my drinking prowess. After a couple of pitchers and way, way, way too many shots, I started hiccuping and convinced myself I should throw up to get rid of them.
Minutes later I was being carried out of the ladies room where I had passed out on the toilet, pants up, with my head on the TP dispenser.
But I still would like to think that I could out drink Tony Romo. Really all I'm saying is, Tony, drop her and go with me. I will at least hang with you longer, and will make for better stories in the morning. Plus, I won't ask you to take me to the hospital. Not when you have a game like you do on Dec. 7th coming up! (There, I tied it all back up in a neat little package that relates to sports. I'm a hero.)
Labels: chronic alcoholism, jessica simpson better watch her back
While everyone else is busy blogging about Eli, Plaxico, Osi, Strahan and Tyree, we here at GGS want to salute a real Super Bowl hero - Tina Williams. 46-year-old Tina was pulled over in St. Augustine, Florida on Super Bowl Sunday after police witnessed her running a red light and then swerving back and forth between lanes. After pulling her over, police found a 1-year-old baby girl in the back seat. The baby was not in a car seat or buckled in. When police looked in Tina's passenger seat they found a 24-pack of Busch beer safely buckled in.
Tina told the cops that she had no idea why the baby wasn't restrained. Police also found two metal pipes in her purse. She was charged with driving under the influence, child endangerment, driving without a valid license, running a red light and not having a seatbelt or child restraint.
Tina has her priorities straight. That beer could have bruised! Or been crushed! You can always have another baby, but you don't find Busch on sale at the local Piggly Wiggly every night.
The real question is, was Tina a Giants fan or a Pats fan? Since it wasn't Amstel Light, I'm guessing Giants.
[Source]
Labels: chronic alcoholism, super bowl
Man, we decide to make a comeback and absolutely nothing is going on in the world of sports. Just perfect. This is almost as disappointing as Britney Spears's "comeback." And speaking of Britney, it's slow news days like these when I wish she played some sort of professional sport. I'd never be at a loss for things to blog about.
I was going to post something about the Mavericks-Warriors matchup the other day, but I got distracted by how outlandishly large Baron Davis's ass is and couldn't think of anything else worth mentioning.
Artist's rendering
So while I can't promise any quality posts today (or ever), I can promise that I will drink a few cans of Steel Reserve and blog about the Steelers playoff game tomorrow. I can't promise it will be funny, coherent, or even intelligible, but then again are my posts ever? (Hint: NO.) But I can promise to be drunk.
My predictions for the wild card playoff games tomorrow are as follows:
Seahawks v. Redskins - Seahawks fans will complain about the officiating for at least a solid year. Unless they win.
Steelers v. Jaguars - While in the throes of a Steel Reserve-induced haze I will make a "Faguars" pun and think it's hilarious. Then I will loudly repeat said pun until someone acknowledges it with pity laughter or punches me in the face.
See you guys tomorrow.
I was going to post something about the Mavericks-Warriors matchup the other day, but I got distracted by how outlandishly large Baron Davis's ass is and couldn't think of anything else worth mentioning.
Artist's renderingSo while I can't promise any quality posts today (or ever), I can promise that I will drink a few cans of Steel Reserve and blog about the Steelers playoff game tomorrow. I can't promise it will be funny, coherent, or even intelligible, but then again are my posts ever? (Hint: NO.) But I can promise to be drunk.
My predictions for the wild card playoff games tomorrow are as follows:
Seahawks v. Redskins - Seahawks fans will complain about the officiating for at least a solid year. Unless they win.
Steelers v. Jaguars - While in the throes of a Steel Reserve-induced haze I will make a "Faguars" pun and think it's hilarious. Then I will loudly repeat said pun until someone acknowledges it with pity laughter or punches me in the face.
See you guys tomorrow.
Labels: baron davis, chronic alcoholism, nfl playoffs, random
"Bethlehem police charged 19 members of Lehigh University's swim team after busting a drinking party shortly before midnight."
Mac S. Tichner and Darren Podolak...future panty creamers? Probably not.
Police came to the house when "loud music" was heard from their patrol car. They found underage drinking, kegs, liquor, drunk 17-year-olds, beer pong, and a girl who's BAC was 3x's the legal limit to drive in Pennsylvania. Sounds like a real rager.
Psh. Amateurs. Arrested before midnight and already wasted. Someone needs to teach the swimmers up there how to hold their booze and keep their music down.
Labels: chronic alcoholism, douchebags, party party party, the slammer
Sorry there has not been much updating. I am recovering from 3 days in New Orleans and Mandy is having some technical problems due to her move.
I promise we will be back really soon!
I promise we will be back really soon!
Labels: chronic alcoholism, hungover, technical problems
Fuckin' Stars.
I have class in like 5 hours. I stayed up for 4th overtime. 4th MOTHER FUCKIN' overtime...and you lose.
I can't begin to tell you how many times I was at "No Frills" yelling out, "Come on Stars!"
Ack.
I'm going to bed. At least I made my way through 3 pitchers of beer, a shot of Pink Silk Panties, 2 Miller Lite bottles and a Blue Margarita.
Fuck this I'm going to bed.
I have class in like 5 hours. I stayed up for 4th overtime. 4th MOTHER FUCKIN' overtime...and you lose.
I can't begin to tell you how many times I was at "No Frills" yelling out, "Come on Stars!"
Ack.
I'm going to bed. At least I made my way through 3 pitchers of beer, a shot of Pink Silk Panties, 2 Miller Lite bottles and a Blue Margarita.
Fuck this I'm going to bed.
Labels: chronic alcoholism, dallas stars, nhl
Miami Heat forward James Posey was arrested this morning for sipping on a little to much of that sizzurp and driving his car.
But when he got caught he wasn't actually driving...he had stopped in the middle of the road and was talking with pedestrians and other drivers.
Now when I've had a bit too much to drink I just throw my keys at whoever is closest to me and demand they take me home. But not James. He tries...decides he's a little too tipsy to make it...and throws that bitch in park. Great advice for everyone who has found themselves in that predicament.
Don't even pull over. Just stop. Highway, county road, off-ramp, school zone, a stranger's driveway...all good places to just chill until the buzz wears off. And while you're there, holler at the people around you. Might as well make some conversation and maybe some new friends while you're sobering up.
A tip of the hat to you Mr. Posey.
[SI.com]
Once out of the car, Posey displayed "bloodshot eyes, slurred speech, and an odor of an alcoholic beverage on his breath,'' the police report said. The player also was unsteady on his feet and swayed while standing, police said.
But when he got caught he wasn't actually driving...he had stopped in the middle of the road and was talking with pedestrians and other drivers.
Now when I've had a bit too much to drink I just throw my keys at whoever is closest to me and demand they take me home. But not James. He tries...decides he's a little too tipsy to make it...and throws that bitch in park. Great advice for everyone who has found themselves in that predicament.
Don't even pull over. Just stop. Highway, county road, off-ramp, school zone, a stranger's driveway...all good places to just chill until the buzz wears off. And while you're there, holler at the people around you. Might as well make some conversation and maybe some new friends while you're sobering up.
A tip of the hat to you Mr. Posey.
[SI.com]
Labels: chronic alcoholism, drunk
STILL TRYING TO FEEL BETTER AFTER THAT SUNS GAME
1 Comments Published by mandy on 4/01/2007 at 17:26.
This help?
No? Well,
Ok, nevermind...
[Thanks to the always hilarious Drunk Athlete for the Josh Howard pics]
Labels: chronic alcoholism, josh howard, kevin willis, nba
This is old news, but I just found out about it, so sorry if you've seen it before. Just tell me I'm a douche and move along.
Ultimate Fighting Champion Chuck Liddell was up in my hood to promote the movie 300 (a movie he is not in and had nothing to do with) earlier this month and well, to put it lightly, he was out of his mind. He paid a visit to the show Good Morning Texas (I live in Dallas and have never heard of this show) and graced us with the mumbling train wreck below. You can literally smell the booze through your computer screen. Host Gary Cogill was not amused.
Chuck then moved his drunken antics to the Dallas radio program The Jagger Show where he acted like a damn fool and spent a good portion of the show in the bathroom puking his guts out.
I'd make fun of the guy, but even with a blood alcohol content that would make Jerramy Stevens blush, he could still kill me with his bare hands. In under three seconds.
Liddell mentioned on the Jagger Show that he had been out partying the nite before, but his handler's official excuse was pneumonia. Yeah, I tried that excuse before but my boss said that pneumonia doesn't make you urinate yourself, hit on your 60 year-old coworker, or take sexually suggestive photos of yourself with office supplies. Or should I say my ex-boss.
Ultimate Fighting Champion Chuck Liddell was up in my hood to promote the movie 300 (a movie he is not in and had nothing to do with) earlier this month and well, to put it lightly, he was out of his mind. He paid a visit to the show Good Morning Texas (I live in Dallas and have never heard of this show) and graced us with the mumbling train wreck below. You can literally smell the booze through your computer screen. Host Gary Cogill was not amused.
Chuck then moved his drunken antics to the Dallas radio program The Jagger Show where he acted like a damn fool and spent a good portion of the show in the bathroom puking his guts out.
I'd make fun of the guy, but even with a blood alcohol content that would make Jerramy Stevens blush, he could still kill me with his bare hands. In under three seconds.
Liddell mentioned on the Jagger Show that he had been out partying the nite before, but his handler's official excuse was pneumonia. Yeah, I tried that excuse before but my boss said that pneumonia doesn't make you urinate yourself, hit on your 60 year-old coworker, or take sexually suggestive photos of yourself with office supplies. Or should I say my ex-boss.
Labels: chronic alcoholism, chuck liddell, ufc
If Peyton without a shirt wasn't enough, how about the Steelers' nose tackle Casey Hampton to entrance you?
I can't really say much...I may or may not have done the exact same thing Friday night.
And yes. If you search hard enough I'm sure you can find those pictures, too.
Via Drunk Athlete
I can't really say much...I may or may not have done the exact same thing Friday night.
And yes. If you search hard enough I'm sure you can find those pictures, too.
Via Drunk Athlete
Labels: chronic alcoholism, drunk, pittsburgh steelers
There has been a disturbing lack of sports news up on the site this week. Coincidentally, there has also been a disturbing lack of sobriety in my life this week. No wait...maybe that's not a coincidence....anyways, I've done my best to round up everything we've totally dropped the ball on for the past week or so. If you haven't read this stuff yet, you 100% should now:
*If you read any of these, check out our e-friend (and object of our affection) Matt's excellent exclusive with John Amaechi. [With Leather]
*On the flip side, Tony Dungy is pretty unrepentant about not liking the gays. Which leads us to ask, "Dude, what about Peyton?" [also With Leather]
*You probably heard that J. Peezy got into a fist fight w/ Levi Jones in Vegas, but did you read the hilarious transcript of the brawl? [The Big Lead, The Mighty MJD]
*A Flickr stream of NBA players and hos. [Via FreeDarko]
My personal favorite:
Chris Kaman and some of his biggest fans. hardy har har...
*Greg Oden: hard-fouler, nice dancer. [AOL Fanhouse, Drunk Athlete]
*Bill Cowher + Bill Shatner = my dreams finally coming true [Mondesi's House]
*If you ever wanted to see Pops Mensah-Bonsu dancing while opening Xmas gifts or dancing at Walmart then this = your dreams finally coming true [D.C. Sports Blog]
*Eli Manning and Jeff Garcia are getting hitched. Surprisingly, not to each other. [AOL Fanhouse]
*Ryan Dempster is a Harry Caray impersonator, ninja. [Sports by Brooks]
*KSK still hilarious w/ their NFL Family Circus parodies, off season adventures of Michael Vick, and instructions on how to deal w/ neighbors like Jerramy Stevens. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
* I love Ozzie Guillen. [Deadspin]
*Polygamy in the NCAA [AOL Fanhouse]
*Tony LaRussa got a DUI [Deadspin]
*Gilbert Arenas is crazy. [We are the Postmen]
*Khalif Barnes arrest video. [AOL Fanhouse]
*Mark Cuban thought about selling the Mavs after the finals last year. [Via Mavs Moneyball]
--------
If you've already read all this sports news, then read about our non-sports related (but still alcohol-related) exploits at Dallas' "hottest club." [Dallas Observer, written by the criminally sexy Andrea]
*If you read any of these, check out our e-friend (and object of our affection) Matt's excellent exclusive with John Amaechi. [With Leather]
*On the flip side, Tony Dungy is pretty unrepentant about not liking the gays. Which leads us to ask, "Dude, what about Peyton?" [also With Leather]
*You probably heard that J. Peezy got into a fist fight w/ Levi Jones in Vegas, but did you read the hilarious transcript of the brawl? [The Big Lead, The Mighty MJD]
*A Flickr stream of NBA players and hos. [Via FreeDarko]
My personal favorite:
*Greg Oden: hard-fouler, nice dancer. [AOL Fanhouse, Drunk Athlete]
*Bill Cowher + Bill Shatner = my dreams finally coming true [Mondesi's House]
*If you ever wanted to see Pops Mensah-Bonsu dancing while opening Xmas gifts or dancing at Walmart then this = your dreams finally coming true [D.C. Sports Blog]
*Eli Manning and Jeff Garcia are getting hitched. Surprisingly, not to each other. [AOL Fanhouse]
*Ryan Dempster is a Harry Caray impersonator, ninja. [Sports by Brooks]
*KSK still hilarious w/ their NFL Family Circus parodies, off season adventures of Michael Vick, and instructions on how to deal w/ neighbors like Jerramy Stevens. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
* I love Ozzie Guillen. [Deadspin]
*Polygamy in the NCAA [AOL Fanhouse]
*Tony LaRussa got a DUI [Deadspin]
*Gilbert Arenas is crazy. [We are the Postmen]
*Khalif Barnes arrest video. [AOL Fanhouse]
*Mark Cuban thought about selling the Mavs after the finals last year. [Via Mavs Moneyball]
--------
If you've already read all this sports news, then read about our non-sports related (but still alcohol-related) exploits at Dallas' "hottest club." [Dallas Observer, written by the criminally sexy Andrea]
Labels: chronic alcoholism, links
Well, Lauren and I have yet again confused St. Patrick's Day with Cinco de Mayo (how do these things keep happening?!), so we'll be spending the rest of the week in San Antonio. Coincidentally, the NCAA Tournament officially kicks off today, so you'll have plenty of sports action to keep you occupied while we're gone.
My bracket for the Pittsburgh Celebrity Blogger NCAA Pool should be up on Sportsocracy pretty soon should you feel the need to mock me mercilessly or to further question my already questionable judgment.
We'd like to wish everyone a Happy St. Patty's Day - and you kids stay safe. We'll just be trying to stay out of jail. We'll be back on Monday, or whenever our hangovers clear.
You hate to see us go, but you love to watch us walk away.
We've given you plenty of T, so we thought it was time for some A. Jeff Reed heartily approves. What's that Jeff? You like what you see on the left? Yeah...that's all me baby....
So 'til Monday friends. If any crazy shit goes down over the weekend, we damn well better be reading about it in our inboxes.
Labels: chronic alcoholism, flirtin' with disaster, holidays, jeff reed, ncaa, our fine asses, road trip
If professional drinking were officially recognized as a sport, Lauren and I would have blogged about our weekend. Unfortunately it is not, so sorry for our protracted absence. Lucky for you, not too much interesting went on in the world of sports while we were gone...except:
*Drew Brees decided to tempt his off-season fate once again by flying with the Blue Angels.
*Pacman Jones was involved in yet another incident.
*The rapist became the raped.
*And some bracket thing or another came out. I dunno, supposedly it's a big deal and supposedly I'm involved. Which should be hilarious.
This isn't sports news, but Brad Delp, the lead singer of Boston, died on Friday. Which means that Lauren and I will be in mourning for at least the greater part of the week. If we don't post as much as usual, blame God. It's more than a feeling damn it.
*Drew Brees decided to tempt his off-season fate once again by flying with the Blue Angels.
*Pacman Jones was involved in yet another incident.
*The rapist became the raped.
*And some bracket thing or another came out. I dunno, supposedly it's a big deal and supposedly I'm involved. Which should be hilarious.
This isn't sports news, but Brad Delp, the lead singer of Boston, died on Friday. Which means that Lauren and I will be in mourning for at least the greater part of the week. If we don't post as much as usual, blame God. It's more than a feeling damn it.
Labels: boston, chronic alcoholism, drew brees, kobe bryant, march madness, the rainmaker
