I'm already excited for the Ranger, Stars, and Mavs games all going at the same time and a pitcher of beer. And I'm a little bit horny.
We've already decided that we're ordering a few $5 pitcher for each quarter and a shot for each point the Stars score. And I've decided that I'm taking someone home.
The Ranger's game starts to wrap up and Milton Bradley goes 2 for 4 with 2 runs batted it and Michael Young homered and the Rangers pulled the rug out from under the O's in yesterday's double header. I started to get this tingling sensation between my legs. I felt a little hot on my face and my breath started getting shorter...
And the next thing I know the Mavs and the Jazz are going back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, and Dirk hits a 3pt to win the game with .9 seconds left. He grabs his jersey, sticks his tongue out and all I could imagine was him grabbing me and licking me, I started grabbing myself and biting my lip. I couldn't take it anymore. "Pull that jersey you sexy son of a bitch!" I can feel it, it's coming. And it's going to be a big one.
Oh god, back to the Rangers, CJ Wilson closing. Ohhhhhh, Goddddddd oh. God. Oh. Oh. Oh.
STARS WIN! STARS WIN! STARS WIN! RIGHT THERE! RIGHT THERE! DON'T STOP! DON'T YOU FUCKING STOP!
Don't.
Stop.
Don't.
Can you go get me some water?
Labels: dallas stars, its not as hard as you make it seem just try, let me introduce you to the female orgasm through sports watching, making a mess in public, mavs, texas rangers
The crush this site has on Mike Modano has been noted. He is a hunk of a man.
Apparently, he is also a jerk. This comes from a friend of mine who would like to remain anonymous. So I shouldn't mention the fact that his name sounds like Riverbend Squeeze.
So I was assisting on a photo shoot for a couple of Dallas Stars. We did some shots on the ice and then we were setting up for a shoot in the locker room before the players got in there. Modano came in early and was a real douche. He was pointing at the equipment and started yelling "Get this shit outta here!" and when no one responded he pointed at me and said, "Hey you! Hey you little shit! Get this shit outta here!" At first I was like, is Modano calling me a little shit? I'm 6'4" and just minding my own business and some hot shot hockey player starts calling me a little shit.
How could that face be a jerk? It's too hot...
I told him he should have said something to him and tried to fight him, but he told me that he wanted to have a job in the future. Psh.
And I know this shouldn't surprise me as most rich, attractive athletes would be Grade A bags of douche, but he seemed like such a sweet guy. And just to make you fellas out there dislike him ever more, remember who he sleeps next to:
Yep. I bet Marty Turco is your new favorite Star.
Labels: dallas stars, hot, mike modano
As Mandy mentioned below, the Stars are out. Saturday night was just a tease.
Speaking of Saturday night, I got drunk and declared to my friends that if the Stars won I would post something ridiculous that only I would find funny. Well, they didn't win but I'm going to post it anyways.
I don't really care and it makes me laugh uncontrollably.
H is for Hockey, that's good enough for me
H is for Hockey, that's good enough for me
H is for Hockey, that's good enough for me
Oh Hockey Hockey Hockey starts with H
H is for Hockey, that's good enough for me
H is for Hockey, that's good enough for me
H is for Hockey, that's good enough for me
Oh Hockey Hockey Hockey starts with H
The letter L sometimes looks like a hockey stick
A roller skate sometimes looks like ice skates
But they are not as good as ice skates
The moon looks like a hockey puck, but you can't play with it
H is for Hockey, that's good enough for me
H is for Hockey, that's good enough for me
H is for Hockey, that's good enough for me
Oh Hockey Hockey Hockey starts with H
YEAH!
Oh Hockey Hockey Hockey starts with H
OH BOY!
Oh Hockey Hockey Hockey starts with H
It was a lot funnier after those beers. But don't act like next time you've had a pitcher or two you won't stop singing it.
Thanks to:
Speaking of Saturday night, I got drunk and declared to my friends that if the Stars won I would post something ridiculous that only I would find funny. Well, they didn't win but I'm going to post it anyways.
I don't really care and it makes me laugh uncontrollably.
H is for Hockey, that's good enough for me
H is for Hockey, that's good enough for me
H is for Hockey, that's good enough for me
Oh Hockey Hockey Hockey starts with H
H is for Hockey, that's good enough for me
H is for Hockey, that's good enough for me
H is for Hockey, that's good enough for me
Oh Hockey Hockey Hockey starts with H
The letter L sometimes looks like a hockey stick
A roller skate sometimes looks like ice skates
But they are not as good as ice skates
The moon looks like a hockey puck, but you can't play with it
H is for Hockey, that's good enough for me
H is for Hockey, that's good enough for me
H is for Hockey, that's good enough for me
Oh Hockey Hockey Hockey starts with H
YEAH!
Oh Hockey Hockey Hockey starts with H
OH BOY!
Oh Hockey Hockey Hockey starts with H
It was a lot funnier after those beers. But don't act like next time you've had a pitcher or two you won't stop singing it.
Thanks to:
Man was that anticlimactic.The Stars came back with a vengeance from an early 3-1 series deficit against the Vancouver Canucks only to end up losing in game 7. Vancouver advanced to the second playoff round and beat Dallas 4-1 tonight ending their playoff run.
But the score makes the game seem worse than it really was since 2 of those points were from empty netters in the final minute of the game as Dallas was trying to scrape their way back into it.
Well, it was an exciting series at least and even though the Stars lost I just want to point out that Marty Turco was definitely not the choke artist that everyone paints him out to be. He finished the series with 3 shut outs and a .952 save percentage, which by the way was better than Roberto Luongo's. So stfu Turco haters. You can't argue with that my friends. And if you want to try, you can argue with my fist.
Here's hoping the Mavs have better playoff luck or else I'm going to have to start watching baseball. Yuck.
Labels: dallas stars, nhl
Fuckin' Stars.
I have class in like 5 hours. I stayed up for 4th overtime. 4th MOTHER FUCKIN' overtime...and you lose.
I can't begin to tell you how many times I was at "No Frills" yelling out, "Come on Stars!"
Ack.
I'm going to bed. At least I made my way through 3 pitchers of beer, a shot of Pink Silk Panties, 2 Miller Lite bottles and a Blue Margarita.
Fuck this I'm going to bed.
I have class in like 5 hours. I stayed up for 4th overtime. 4th MOTHER FUCKIN' overtime...and you lose.
I can't begin to tell you how many times I was at "No Frills" yelling out, "Come on Stars!"
Ack.
I'm going to bed. At least I made my way through 3 pitchers of beer, a shot of Pink Silk Panties, 2 Miller Lite bottles and a Blue Margarita.
Fuck this I'm going to bed.
Labels: chronic alcoholism, dallas stars, nhl
Mike Modano.I'm pretty sure the picture gives enough reason as to why Mandy and I must change our panties after watching Stars games.
But in case that isn't enough he also notched the 505th goal of his career the other night to extend his record for U.S.-born players. He now has 20 goals, 19 assists and 39 points in 53 games this season.
Unfortunately he's engaged to Willa Ford. She’s hot, but I know for a fact I saw at least 4 way more hot girls on my way to school today. I also passed 4 mirrors en route. Coincidence? I think not.
[source]
Labels: dallas stars, hot, mike modano, nhl, panty creamer, tap dancing on that line between flattery and insanity
Like right now. I just watched it. Hells yeah.
Inching up on that record.
Inching up on that record.
Labels: dallas stars, mike modano, nhl
