So it's totally like me to lose stuff. My friends once told me that I should have clothes made of Velcro so I could just stick my keys, credit card, cell phone and other things on my person. Therefore I'm really not surprised that I misplaced Mandy.

What does surprise me is where I found her. It's been a long 2 days, but I made the journey to find and rescue my BFF and partner in crime. Would you like to hear the tale? Gather round children, but I warn you now: Unlike us, it won't be pretty.

Tuesday June 19th, 2007 9:30am - Discover Mandy has been gone for a few weeks

First I needed to think of possible places Mandy could be:

• Orange Julius
• Ben Roethlisberger's house
• The circus
• North Carolina stalking Bill Cowher
• Las Vegas
• FAO Schwarz
• White Castle
• San Antonio

I thought I had made an excellent list of places to look for her. Using my Dog the Bounty Hunter like skills I set out to Ridgmar Mall to the Orange Julius to start the search. Halfway to the mall it hit me that I should probably start looking for her at her house and that the list I made was ridiculous. And by ridiculous I mean awesome.

June 17th, 2007 10:30 am - The search is in action

Arrive at Mandy's house...she is no where to be found. Her cat, TimTim, leads me to my first clue: A lock of blond hair. Blond? Mandy is a redhead...could she have colored her hair back to her natural color in order to escape north Texas without being recognized? Surely not. But that's when I noticed something strange in her bedroom. A CLIPPER'S JERSEY. And who's jersey could it be? None other than freak show himself, KAMAN.

I fell to my knees, fists pumping in the air! KAAAAAAAAMAAAAAAN!!!

Clearly she had been kidnapped. Or had she? Had she been planing to run away with Kaman for months now? Had our friendship and this blog just been a sick facade to get her closer to the blond god? I hope it isn't true. The stomach churns and the mind reels just thinking about her sick obsession with Kaman.

June 17, 2007 11:45 am - Heading for first destination

After the shock wore off I started to form a plan. If I were Chris Kaman...where would I take my newest love conquest? I thought back to a night where Mandy was going on and on about Kaman (she really wouldn't shut up about him, how could I have not seen this coming? I am a fool.) and remembered he was raised on a chicken farm. Obviously he must have taken her to this farm! I knew what I had to do.

June 17, 2007 3:00 pm - Arrive at chicken farm

I found the Kaman family chicken farm really fast. I am a super sleuth. I should probably have a show on the Discovery Channel. Chicken farm is deserted...but my spirits stay high. I surveyed the area and in the corner of my eye notice something that looks strangely out of place: A terrible towel! Mandy had been here! I put the terrible towel to my cheek and it was like I was holding her...uh...again. I got in my car and needed to clear my head and rest a bit.

(Stay tuned for more of "Missing Mandy"...)

Labels: dog the bounty hunter references, mandy's one true love, missing mandy, where in the world is mandy sandiego