HAPPY BIRTHDAY MANDY!!!!

4 Comments Published by lauren on 5/01/2008 at 14:48.

Happy Birthday baby! All my love! - Big Ben

OH NO YOU DON'T BEN! NO ONE TOUCHES MY MANDY! ARRRRGHHHH! FEEL THE RATH OF THE KAMAN! SHE WILL BE MINE!!! ARRRGHHH!!!! - Chris Kaman

Anyways, happy birthday to this blogs better half! I have this cake waiting for you when you come home...giggity...

Leave the birthday girl some love in the comments!

Labels: happy birthday, mandy's sexiness

COUNTDOWN UNTIL LAUREN'S BDAY - 1 DAYS

6 Comments Published by lauren on 3/07/2008 at 11:35.

Today I would like the end all be all cure for a hangover. Quite frankly I feel like shit. My coworkers got me the prettiest flowers and cup cakes and I feel like CRAP. I've heard every crazy cure in the book but I'm sure some of our readers have some great ideas.

In addition to this wishlist post I am offering up my tips on how to attend a Mavericks home game, if you have the opportunity:

Tip #1:

When taking the TRE train to the game, DO NOT start your drinking early. You will end up on the wrong train going the wrong direction and then end up taking an extra 50 minute train ride and waiting in the cold for 15 minutes. Trust.

Tip #2:

When sneaking in liquor use a plastic flask. It does not go off in the metal detectors and your state of inebriation will be greater. Nothing says I love my team more than standing in a restroom stall drinking warm orange juice and vodka as fast as you can!

Tip #3:

When starting a "DEVIN HARRIS" chant, it is best to be around a good section of loud and raucous people. Pre-teens and their mothers just don't do the trick.

Tip #4:

MAKE SURE you get your beer refills BEFORE the 4th quarter starts. They will not budge on that rule. No matter who you offer to show your boobs to.

Tip #5:

Always bring ME to a game. I am an endless amount of fun even if the Mavs fuck it all up.

***

So there you have it. I am a wealth of hung-over knowledge. If you don't hear from me after today don't worry, I will emerge sometime on Monday a drunken, hot mess.

And somehow, a better person.

Labels: happy birthday, lauren's wishlist

COUNTDOWN TO LAUREN'S BDAY: 2 DAYS

1 Comments Published by lauren on 3/06/2008 at 18:47.

I'm going to the Mavs game tonight to kick off my birthday weekend.

So today I am just asking for a victory. Simple as that.

Let's go Mavs. Win for me!

Time to start drinking!

[Thanks to reader and friend Shaun for the tickets!]

Labels: happy birthday, lauren's future husband, lauren's wishlist

COUNTDOWN UNTIL LAUREN'S BDAY - 3 DAYS

2 Comments Published by lauren on 3/05/2008 at 14:51.

I have already failed at this. I just got really, really busy last night*. So today I'll just do a two for one.

My first wish (to make up for yesterday's absence) is: I would like the Spurs locker room, in whatever arena they are in, to have a constant smell of rotten ass, warm trash, and skunk spray. I want the stench to be so bad it makes them physically ill. I would also like this smell to carry over to their fans. (Not the entire city, I know of Mavs fans that live there). I want the smell to be so horrible their eyes cross and they get really bad headaches.

Now who can make this happen? Eva Longwhoria, I'm looking at you. Open up those legs!

My wish for today:

I want season tickets for life to the new Cowboy's stadium in Arlington. I want a luxury box that is always catered, and the bar is always full. And I want to be able to have as many people in there as I want whenever I want. It should also have a hot tub in there. And a Ben and Jerry's attached.

Now who can make this happen? That's right, the double J.

*-Really drunk last night

Labels: happy birthday, lauren's wishlist, make it work

COUNTDOWN UNTIL LAUREN'S BDAY - 5 DAYS

4 Comments Published by lauren on 3/03/2008 at 15:55.

As most who read this blog know, my glorious day of birth is coming up very quickly. So being the spoiled rotten brat that I am, this blog will now become a daily shrine to me.

Just kidding.

But this week I will be doing a once a day countdown post of things in the sports world that I would like to have/happen for my birthday.

Today I start with something I want. Or more like, someone I want. And you probably know who it is...

With any luck I'll be in that position.

Yes, he broke my heart last season. And I tossed him aside like I've done with so many men in the past. So many. SOOOO many. But unlike them he has held that place in my cold, dark heart and just won't go away. And I love it!

Just like Tammy Wynette said, I will stand by my man. So my first wish on this wishlist is for Dirk. Just plain old, professional basketball playin, german beer drinking, Dirk Nowitzki.

Mandy has pointed out our height diffrence (2') before and I am well aware that he could split me like a log. I see this as a challenge, and I will not back down from a challenge. I'm a go-getter.

So now, we gotta make this blogger's wish come true. Mavsmoneyball, mavs.com, dallasbasketball.com, mavscourtsideview.com, I'm looking at ALL of you.

[Ed. Note - Courtside seats to the upcoming Spurs game at the AAC also accepted. Mandy and I need the luxury. ]

Labels: happy birthday, it's all about me deal with it, lauren's future husband, lauren's wishlist, tammy wynette is one of my favorites to karaoke

YOU SAY IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY

0 Comments Published by lauren on 10/10/2007 at 11:15.

Well today is not only my younger brother's birthday it is also two of this sites favorite people's birthday as well.

No, not Mario Lopez, Dale Earnhart Jr., or Tanya Tucker.

It's ~~my biological father~~ Diamond David Lee Roth's birthday too! Diamond Dave has been very influential in mine and Mandy's lives. We were brought together oh so long ago after we realized our mutual love for Van Halen (not Van Haggar). So really, it's safe to say that if it wasn't for ~~our strong sexual urges for each other~~ Van Halen music this site might have never existed and you would have never seen our cleavage or the way we can work a Popsicle.

So today, dear horny reader, take time to celebrate Diamond Dave's bday. Maybe stand on a chair and jump off doing a toe touch and wearing a sparkly leotard. Don't have a leotard? Borrow Oscar De La Hoya's fishnets. Can't jump off a chair because of that back injury you obtained while trying out that one position during sex that ended up giving you a Charlie horse? Well in that case strut around declaring yourself to be the "Ice cream Man", or my personal favorite "Just a gigolo."

And while you're at it, wish Brett Favre a happy 38 years. Because without him other bloggers wouldn't be able to make old man jokes about him. And Cialis stock would drop dramatically. And I wouldn't get that salt and pepper fantasy about him in his heartburn or cholesterol medicine commercial out of my dreams.