Last night's game gave me a full on raging girl boner. In all my games I've never heard the AAC louder.

The Mavs whipped out their dicks, shoved them in Baron Davis' ass, then pulled them out and smeared them all over his face. Oh and we had little blue and white Mavs clapper thingys. Revenge in the form of clappers is oh so sweet.

I really have to hand it to them, the entire game experience was awesome. The Mavs "Bohemian Rhapsody" video had most of the people around us laughing so hard we almost spilt our $7 beers. That video alone sent Dirk right back up to the #1 spot in my heart (Matt Damon slips down to #2 and Mos Def takes over the #3 spot). And the half time show! None of that queer two guys one chair Cirque rip off shit. The Beale Street Flippers. That shit was crazy. No one should be able to do back handsprings like that.



(If anyone has video of the Dirk vid it would be awesome of you to send it to me! That or the Paul Mcartney "JET" video.)

Now back to the actual game: I just want to address the issue of certain local journalist's accusations that Josh Howard is "just a guy". The accusations are stemmed mainly from the fact that while Dirk has been gone their points aren't as high as these people would like them.

I would like to call to the stand last night's game, your honor. In a game where Dirk played (albeit coming of an injury so maybe he didn't have his rock meter on green just yet) J-HO scored 28 points. And even more than that, JET scored 31! Jason Kidd had 17 assists.

And you know what, after last night I was ok with the Kidd trade. If we keep playing like we did last night I'd be REALLY ok with it.

And after all that, on the way home I got to hear Choppy (I think), on the local ESPN radio, say, "The Mavs got their hands on a lot of balls."

But the very best part: FREE TACOS! MAVS WIN MEANS FREE BUENO TACO!

Labels: lauren's future husband, mavs, my homerism is showing, sorry this is so long

I'm going to the Mavs game tonight to kick off my birthday weekend.

So today I am just asking for a victory. Simple as that.



Let's go Mavs. Win for me!


Time to start drinking!


[Thanks to reader and friend Shaun for the tickets!]

Labels: happy birthday, lauren's future husband, lauren's wishlist

As most who read this blog know, my glorious day of birth is coming up very quickly. So being the spoiled rotten brat that I am, this blog will now become a daily shrine to me.

Just kidding.

But this week I will be doing a once a day countdown post of things in the sports world that I would like to have/happen for my birthday.

Today I start with something I want. Or more like, someone I want. And you probably know who it is...

With any luck I'll be in that position.

Yes, he broke my heart last season. And I tossed him aside like I've done with so many men in the past. So many. SOOOO many. But unlike them he has held that place in my cold, dark heart and just won't go away. And I love it!

Just like Tammy Wynette said, I will stand by my man. So my first wish on this wishlist is for Dirk. Just plain old, professional basketball playin, german beer drinking, Dirk Nowitzki.

Mandy has pointed out our height diffrence (2') before and I am well aware that he could split me like a log. I see this as a challenge, and I will not back down from a challenge. I'm a go-getter.

So now, we gotta make this blogger's wish come true. Mavsmoneyball, mavs.com, dallasbasketball.com, mavscourtsideview.com, I'm looking at ALL of you.

[Ed. Note - Courtside seats to the upcoming Spurs game at the AAC also accepted. Mandy and I need the luxury. ]

Labels: happy birthday, it's all about me deal with it, lauren's future husband, lauren's wishlist, tammy wynette is one of my favorites to karaoke

[From Basketbawful]

Labels: lauren's future husband, mavs, really dumb pictures

I would blow* whoever made that.



I would blow** the star of that commercial.


[Youtube (DUH)]

*-I will not actually blow the maker of that.
**-I totally WILL. Seriously.

Labels: commercials, lauren's future husband, where girls gone sports happens

Didn't he?

He got the MVP. And it's bittersweet.

But like any devoted girlfriend fan, I am nothing if not damn happy about it.

Say what you want.

Dirk has my heart and your just jealous.


[Source]

And someone else who has my heart is one of our super hot readers, JP, for getting us the link before anyone else.

Labels: lauren's future husband, mavs, mvp

Now baby what's this I hear about you lacking confidence? Oh don't say those things honey, you know you're the greatest.

Shhhh shhh, don't talk like that. Lauren is here to make it all better. Now you lay your sweet German head on my chest and tell me what I can do to make the bad thoughts go away.

Uh huh...ok...well that's not exactly what I had in mind but if you just want me to rub your neck that's ok. I'm here for you, baby.

Now tonight I really need you to go out there and give it hell. I need that Dirk from last year to kick some exercise equipment and score 50 points. I need you to bitch slap that beard off of Baron Davis' face. I want you to break slabs of concrete with your bare hands for me. Show me that you are all that is man.

I know you can do it baby. I have faith in you. I believe in you. I know you want this as bad as I want it. And if you aren't doing it for me (even though I know you are, because I'm like totally cute and how could you not want to do it for me) do it for Bentley Green and the Mavs #1 fan*. What's that baby? You want me to do an inspirational cheer and bounce up and down for you? Of course I will! Anything for you baby!

Labels: lauren's future husband, mavs

During halftime last night they showed the Mavs Blooper reel. Here it is for all to enjoy:

(it's only 4 minutes long)




The best part is at the 1:08 mark.

Man, Dirk and I belong together. The Mick Jagger impression is my favorite.

Labels: lauren's future husband, mavs, youtube goodness

Mavs for 60. I wrote this sweet rhyme for Diop. And by wrote I mean completely ripped off Snoop Dogg.



When the D’s in the paint ma
Diop it like it's hot
Diop it like it's hot
Diop it like it's hot
When the Bucks try to get at ya
Dunk it like it's hot
Dunk it like it's hot
Dunk it like it's hot
And if a Nugget get a attitude
Diop it like it's hot
Diop it like it's hot
Diop it like it's hot
I got the sweatband on my arm and I'm pouring Chandon
And I roll with GGS cause I got it going on

Thanks to the Boss Dogg. Yeah, I had to do that.

But in all seriousness Dirk got injured tonight. And I think I know why. He was thinking of me and got distracted. I guess not spending every waking hour with me is harder than I thought. Damn you injury causing good looks. Damn you.

Labels: diop, kickin lyrics straight to your brain, lauren's future husband, mavs

Obvious. I know.

But it's my panties. So I get to pick.

Labels: hot, lauren's future husband, panty creamer, tap dancing on that line between flattery and insanity

Labels: lauren's future husband, links, mavs, nba

15 in a row, mother fucker.

OOOHHH yeah...can you feel that???

Labels: hot, lauren's future husband, mavs, nba