In addition to this wishlist post I am offering up my tips on how to attend a Mavericks home game, if you have the opportunity:
Tip #1:
When taking the TRE train to the game, DO NOT start your drinking early. You will end up on the wrong train going the wrong direction and then end up taking an extra 50 minute train ride and waiting in the cold for 15 minutes. Trust.
Tip #2:
When sneaking in liquor use a plastic flask. It does not go off in the metal detectors and your state of inebriation will be greater. Nothing says I love my team more than standing in a restroom stall drinking warm orange juice and vodka as fast as you can!
Tip #3:
When starting a "DEVIN HARRIS" chant, it is best to be around a good section of loud and raucous people. Pre-teens and their mothers just don't do the trick.
Tip #4:
MAKE SURE you get your beer refills BEFORE the 4th quarter starts. They will not budge on that rule. No matter who you offer to show your boobs to.
Tip #5:
Always bring ME to a game. I am an endless amount of fun even if the Mavs fuck it all up.
***
So there you have it. I am a wealth of hung-over knowledge. If you don't hear from me after today don't worry, I will emerge sometime on Monday a drunken, hot mess.
And somehow, a better person.
Labels: happy birthday, lauren's wishlist
So today I am just asking for a victory. Simple as that.
Let's go Mavs. Win for me!
Time to start drinking!
[Thanks to reader and friend Shaun for the tickets!]
Labels: happy birthday, lauren's future husband, lauren's wishlist
My first wish (to make up for yesterday's absence) is: I would like the Spurs locker room, in whatever arena they are in, to have a constant smell of rotten ass, warm trash, and skunk spray. I want the stench to be so bad it makes them physically ill. I would also like this smell to carry over to their fans. (Not the entire city, I know of Mavs fans that live there). I want the smell to be so horrible their eyes cross and they get really bad headaches.
Now who can make this happen? Eva Longwhoria, I'm looking at you. Open up those legs!
My wish for today:
I want season tickets for life to the new Cowboy's stadium in Arlington. I want a luxury box that is always catered, and the bar is always full. And I want to be able to have as many people in there as I want whenever I want. It should also have a hot tub in there. And a Ben and Jerry's attached.
Now who can make this happen? That's right, the double J.
*-Really drunk last night
Labels: happy birthday, lauren's wishlist, make it work
Just kidding.
But this week I will be doing a once a day countdown post of things in the sports world that I would like to have/happen for my birthday.
Today I start with something I want. Or more like, someone I want. And you probably know who it is...
With any luck I'll be in that position.
Yes, he broke my heart last season. And I tossed him aside like I've done with so many men in the past. So many. SOOOO many. But unlike them he has held that place in my cold, dark heart and just won't go away. And I love it!
Just like Tammy Wynette said, I will stand by my man. So my first wish on this wishlist is for Dirk. Just plain old, professional basketball playin, german beer drinking, Dirk Nowitzki.
Mandy has pointed out our height diffrence (2') before and I am well aware that he could split me like a log. I see this as a challenge, and I will not back down from a challenge. I'm a go-getter.
So now, we gotta make this blogger's wish come true. Mavsmoneyball, mavs.com, dallasbasketball.com, mavscourtsideview.com, I'm looking at ALL of you.
[Ed. Note - Courtside seats to the upcoming Spurs game at the AAC also accepted. Mandy and I need the luxury. ]
Labels: happy birthday, it's all about me deal with it, lauren's future husband, lauren's wishlist, tammy wynette is one of my favorites to karaoke
