In case you hadn't already heard, Big Ben just got a brand new Big Ben-sized contract.
The Pittsburgh Steelers and quarterback Ben Roethlisberger have agreed to a new eight-year, $102 million contract.
The contract, which includes more than $36 million in guarantees and is easily the largest in team history, places Roethlisberger among the game's highest-paid players.
Roethlisberger now joins Manning, Brett Favre, Carson Palmer, Donovan McNabb, the suspended Vick and the retired Drew Bledsoe in the $100 million quarterback club.
(Suck on that Tony Homo!) $102 million will guarantee Big Ben plenty of Patron and motorcycle helmets for years to come, but probably still not the respect he deserves from anyone outside the Pittsburgh city limits.
That said, let's talk about BEN ROETHLISBERGER'S HOT ASS IN GOLD SPANDEX UNTIL THE YEAR 2016!
The carpal tunnel is here to stay people - if you know what I'm saying. (And I think you do.)
Labels: ben roflsberger, mandy's dreams are coming true, masturbate and cry, pittsburgh steelers
Thoughts on the pictures:My sources* tell me that after the picture was taken, the model with Leinart was impregnated. He denies any knowledge of knocking her up. (Illegitimate child jokes with Leinart are never not funny.) Use that two punch method nameless model, two punch. One will not suffice. It's gotta be two, and they gotta be hard. (Punching yourself in the stomach to abort a child jokes are never not funny, either.)
Romo looks decent. When you aren't looking at him straight on and those ears have been touched up in the picture he's pretty hot...I'd hit it. Twice. Oh who am I kidding...three times. Even with the ears. And if I'm looking at him straight on. I'm weak. And easy.
JaMarcus Russell's coat is probably worth more than my car. Probably more than my life.
Brady Quinn tries to be James Dean. Stress on tries. Live fast, die young just doesn't strike me as Quinn's motto. Wear pink, touch boys seems more like it.
Speaking of young, Vincey does the dramatic "run away while looking back pose." Always a winner. He should try the "one hand on hip, head cocked to the side, sly smile, and peace sign" pose. I think it would work.
Ben ROFLsberger included in the magazine just for Mandy's masturbatory pleasure.
See the large pics and video here.
[Pictures from Mark Seliger - GQ]
* - For legal reasons I must state that my source is Matt Leinhart's erect penis. His flaccid penis could not be reached for comment.
Labels: ben roflsberger, GQ, masturbate and cry, quarterbacks who want to be models, tony romo
Oh to be the lid on that coffee cup.............
And just so I'm not posting pictures of him just to be posting them:
"...it appears quite possible that Beckham will not make his debut for the Galaxy
against Chelsea at the Home Depot Center on Saturday as planned. Everything
depends on the status of his injured left ankle, and on Monday it was still
swollen and sore."
Alright, that's it. I'm on my way to LA. If Becks needs someone to help his ankle get back to 100%, I will offer up my services. I will make another appendage swollen and go until I'm sore.
What do you mean reverse cowgirl doesn't cure ankle injuries?
Pictures from here
Quote source here
Labels: becks, hot, masturbate and cry, sex, tap dancing on that line between flattery and insanity, using sex positions to cure injuries
Take a moment. Let it soak in...I think I just came.
We wanna play mixed doubles with you. I can predict the final score: Love-Love.
Just step into our service box and make sure you hit the sweet spot. We've been working on our backhands and forehands; we'd like to help you with your stroke.
After just a couple of sets your woodshot will be so hard it'll be tough for you to stick the volley. But that's ok with us, just so long as you get us to the Grand Slam.
Advantage: Lauren and Mandy
Game. Set. Match. I think I need a cigarette.
Labels: masturbate and cry, panty creamer, rafael nadal, tennis
Labels: A-rod, light in the loafers, masturbate and cry
Michael Owen.
I could write something about him or I could just sit here and stare at his picture. Yeeaaaahhhhhh.....I think I'm gonna go with the latter.
It's too hard to type with one hand anyways.
Line. Crossed it. Gross.
Labels: masturbate and cry, michael owen, panty creamer, soccer, tap dancing on that line between flattery and insanity
MICHAEL "LAUREN WANTS TO DO ME" PHELPS BREAKS HIS OWN RECORD
0 Comments Published by lauren on 4/01/2007 at 14:19.
Phelps smashed his own standard in the 400-meter individual medley by 2.04 seconds, becoming the most successful swimmer ever at the worlds.
"This is probably one of the best meets I've ever had," he said. "I'm definitely happy with how it turned out."
Mandy and I (along with our third) are obsessed with the Olympics. We created a drinking game centered around it. I was particularly obsessed with a few choice
He was kinda goofy lookin' out of the water without that swim cap on...but I, like any good slut, can look past that and still have a desire to do it with him in the pool.
And besides looks, just watch him do the butterfly stroke. Ladies, you know what I'm talking about.
Labels: hot, masturbate and cry, michael phelps, olympics
Oh David. You have the Drunk Eyes. I know them well. My friends can tell how drunk I am by looking at my eyes, too. They can also tell how drunk I am by how many times I've flashed my boobs and broken a beer bottle and threatened to "Fucking kill you!"
Poor Posh. All it took was the smell of Beck's bitch beer to get her drunk.
And why the hat Becksy-Poo? I know you are fashion forward and model gorgeous and all...but that's just fugly. I'd still let you tap it with the hat on, though.
[Source is the hilarious Dlisted]
Labels: becks, drunk, hot, masturbate and cry
When we aren't busy watching countless hours of
Dearest CJ...
If there was one man in all of
We could use a pitching lesson. You bring the bat and balls, we'll bring the glove. The love glove.
We have a lot of things in common:
-You have a 4.06 ERA. We have great DSL.
-You play for the Rangers. We watch the Rangers.
-You are from Newport Beach, CA. My grandma smokes Newports.
-You have 3 first names (Christopher John Wilson). We have three things we could do to you that would make you forget all of your names.
-You love Guitar Hero, tattoos, and Animal Planet. We love Guitar Hero, tattoos on you, and Animal Planet. (No joke here)
-You bat left and throw left. We're ambidextrous. Think about the possibilities.
We're willing to look past the fact that you are Straight Edge if you are willing to look past the fact that we are okay with sex in public places. We can also look past the fact that because you are Straight Edge you don't drink, if you can look past the fact that we drink enough to make David Wells look Straight Edge.
So bring your live fastball and hard sinker over to our place, CJ. I'm sure we'll be able to help you sink your hard bat and we'll be sure to mind the fastballs, too.
Love,
Lauren and Mandy xoxo
(Info on this weeks object of our desire was found here)
Labels: ball games of all kinds, love letters, masturbate and cry, mlb, tap dancing on that line between flattery and insanity, texas rangers
Here's the interview:
And a behind the scenes type thing:
He could film a commercial where he picked his nose for 32 seconds and I would soak up every second of it. Too bad he's married...
Hey David: Time to drop that size zero and go with a hero. Hi-oh!
VIA: Oh No They Didn't! and Youtube
Labels: addias, becks, commercials, hot, masturbate and cry
If I could type the noise that Homer Simpson makes when he thinks of donuts I would.
What's up Beck's p33n? I salute you right back, sir.
Thank you, Popsugar. No really, THANK YOU.
It's sad though. Cause I know I'll never meet any man who looks like that. So sad it makes me wanna go to my bedroom and cry.
And use my own tears as lube.
EDIT: Is it p33n or cup bulge? I want to believe that it's p33n.
Labels: becks, masturbate and cry, peen
