First that utterly retarded Shaq to Suns trade and now THIS?!

[Jason] Kidd, who turns 35 next month, would go to Dallas with an unmistakable mandate: Bring a title for a team and career that are desperately seeking it. As part of the trade, the Mavericks would also send Jerry Stackhouse, Devean George, DeSagna Diop, Maurice Ager and $3 million to New Jersey. Along with Kidd, the Nets send reserve forward Malik Allen to the Mavs.

WHAT. THE. FUCK. What is wrong with the NBA right now? Why would God let this happen??? He had me believing in him for a quick minute after the Super Bowl, but now I just don't know... I can only assume that those racketeering NBA refs are behind this.

So let me see if I have this straight - the Mavericks are effectively trading their entire defense, almost their entire bench, and first round draft picks in 2008 and 2010 in return for a waaaaay-past-his-prime-shoots-under- 37%-from-the-field Jason Kidd and Malik Allen?

Who the fuck even is Malik Allen?? I'm sure his 5.4 points, 2.7 rebounds, and .6 assists per game really sweetened the pot on this poorly thought out deal.

There is just absolutely no making sense of this trade. If you want to try and tell me that Devin Harris is injury prone and that Jason Kidd is an upgrade as a point guard, well fuck you. And you are wrong. Sure, the Jason Kidd from 5 years ago was better, but the stats just don't bear that out now.

• Harris's current salary: Just under $4,000,000
• Kidd current salary: Just under $20,000,000

• Harris's age: 24
• Kidd's age: 34
  
  
• Offensive efficiency of the team Harris runs: 2nd in the league
• Offensive efficiency of the team Kidd runs: 25th

• Devin Harris's PER: 18.64
• Jason Kidd's PER: 16.0

• According to 82games, for every 100 possessions Devin Harris is on the floor, Dallas scores almost 12 points more than the same number of possesions without Harris.
• With Kidd, that number is five.
  

• When Harris is on the court, the Mavericks have outscored opponents by 217 points this season. When he is off the court, the Mavericks have been outscored by 11. Harris is, therefore, +228.
• When Kidd is on the court, the Nets have been outscored by 154. When he is off the court the Nets have been outscored by 116. Kidd is, therefore, -38.

• Devin Harris's record in the NBA Finals: 2-4.
• Jason Kidd's record in the NBA Finals: 2-8.

Obviously we're making this trade for a short-term run for the championship, but we're also mortgaging the future of our team. We're losing a point guard who would have served us well for years to come in Devin Harris, a key clutch player in Jerry Stackhouse, a key defensive player in Devean George, and a key player in match ups against Tim Duncan, Paul Gasol and Shaq (man, that's weird to say) in Diop. And all of that for Jason Kidd. If we wanted to get an oldie olsen on the team, we should've just brought back Kevin Willis.

But what hurts me the most is that if this trade goes through, I will no longer be able to take my "Diop it like it's hot" and "Stack that ass up" signs with me to Mavs games. And that's just a fucking shame.

Turns out I severely underestimated just how crazy Mark Cuban is. I'm half expecting us to trade Dirk for Shaq next. I don't even know what's going on anymore. I just know that I want to kick Mark Cuban in his stupid fake hips.


EDIT: ALL PRAISE DEVEAN GEORGE FOR AT LEAST TEMPORARILY THROWING A WRENCH IN THIS THING!

Labels: diop, jason kidd, jerry stackhouse, mavs, nba, rants

Pat Riley said the Heat were the best team in the league and that they'd be back in the Championship game this year?

Yeah....

Labels: bullshit, miami heat, nba, pat riley

The Sports Hernia has offered up possible excuses as to why the Clippers just didn't quite make it to the playoffs.

Among them:

- Kaman too worried about Sam 'Gollum' Cassell trying to steal his 'precious' magnet nuts

But I think we all know the reason why the Clippers didn't make the playoffs. And that reason just happens to be my partner on this site.

You may know her as the other HBIC of Girls Gone Sports, Mandy.

Her undying love for The Kaman proved to be the Clippers Achilles heel. I think you would be distracted too if you had love rays pouring out at you from that crazy red head.

Poor Kaman. He never stood a chance.

Labels: chris kaman, mandy's one true love, nba

Everybody's jumping on the t-shirt craze that Wizznutzz started (well, actually I think it was a Beatles shirt first) and goddammit now I want one too. Except instead of the '98 Bullets Bench shirt, I want the '07 Mavs Bench. But not the second team, the deep bench. The guys that only play when we've got a 30 point lead in the 4th or when we've already clinched the #1 seed in the playoffs and have absolutely nothing to lose.

I should probably add Mbenga in there too. He's just so deep (and injured) I forgot he even existed.


Don't even try and tell me I wouldn't be the coolest kid in school with this shirt on.

Labels: nba, random, shirts

The fashion runway that is. Jason Terry just launched his new clothing line the JET Collection - "a line of everyday men’s, women’s and children’s wear that features everything from polos, T-shirts, swim suits and sweat suits" - online this week at TeamTakeoff.com.

It's real hot, a bit Sean John-ish and a bit Juicy Couture for the ladies," Terry said, adding that Nike has taken a liking to his logo, which features his signature celebratory "jet" pose. "We're doing a test run with my logo on Nike gear. They know a thing or two about logos.

According to the e-mail I received from Mavs Inside Dish, the clothing line was 7 months in the making. Ummm....you'll note by browsing the site that every single item is a plain, solid-color piece featuring either one of two variations of the logo:





7 months my friends. It's cool and all, but I'm pretty sure our site designer Tiffany could have whipped up the logo on Photoshop and screenprinted it on some shit in under 5 minutes. In fact, I've seen her do it before.

That said, I think it'd be awesome if it became the new Michael Jordan Jumpan logo. Let's all hope Kevin Willis isn't getting jealous.



Is it just me or is Jason Terry taking flight from your asscrack a little disturbing?

[quote source]

Labels: jason terry, mavs, nba

This help?

No? Well, Methuselah Kevin Willis is officially a Mav.

Ok, nevermind...

[Thanks to the always hilarious Drunk Athlete for the Josh Howard pics]

Labels: chronic alcoholism, josh howard, kevin willis, nba

I just cannot stop bringing you old news this weekend. But my mom just pointed out this photo gallery to me - it's cute, Mavs-related, and I hadn't seen it anywhere else - so deal with it, alright? I need something to cheer me up after that Suns game.

Dairy MAX and Dannon ran a "Take Jerry Stackhouse to School" promotion where elementary school kids competed for the chance to win Mavs tickets, an autographed Jerry Stackhouse jersey, and a day at school with Stack by writing essays about why they loved the Mavs and how they got their 3 servings of dairy a day on game days.


Some lucky bitch Fouth-grader Alexis Godina won with her essay.

Alexis Godina came to school with a pretty legitimate tardy excuse after arriving more than an hour late, Friday morning.

Alexis, a 9-year-old fourth grader and the winner of the Dairy MAX and Dannon "Take Jerry Stackhouse to School,” contest, pulled up to Thelma Jones Elementary with more than the usual sack lunch and book bag – she came bearing the 6-foot-6-inch Mavs guard/forward Stackhouse in an entourage of limousines.

Her winning essay:

I begin my day eating a bowl of mild and cereal.
At school for lunch, I cross my fingers for cheese pizza and I wash my down with chocolate milk.
After dinner, I drink a strawberry-banana Danimals yogurt.
Then my family and I sit in front of the T.V. shouting and cheering our favorite Mavs team, especially when they beat the Spurs.

Ok, so I know she's only 9, but gimme a break...."mild and cereal"...."I wash my down".....they couldn't find an essay better than this one? If I'd known winning this contest was so easy I totally would've posed as a 12 year-old and entered myself. Jerry should've just come to my house. I love dairy and I know how to spell.

See pictures of the event here.

(I'm ashamed of myself for making fun of a fourth-grader. I'm really just jealous. Thelma Jones Elementary is right down the road from house and I can't believe I missed my opportunity to crash an elementary school and hang out with Stack.)

Labels: jerry stackhouse, mavs, nba

For some reason unbeknownst to me Lauren insists that I am in love with Chris Kaman. Although, given his model good looks and the sexy coiffures he sports, how could she not assume I was infatuated with the man?


Since I'm so totally enamored with him, you can imagine how thrilled I was to discover that he has a blog. It's not quite as crazy as Gilbert Arenas' blog, but he does give us insights into his trucking company Kaman Transportation, his movie reviews (he liked the Devil Wears Prada), and his much talked about haircut from earlier this season. Plus there are plenty of photos to add to my collection of masturbatory material. Sweet.

Also, Mavs fans can check out Jerry "Cro-Magnon Man" Stackhouse's blog. There's a link to video of him singing the national anthem at a Mav's home game that you should check out if you missed it the first time. Brother's got soul.


[Thanks to the sexy stallions over @ The Big Lead for this gem]

Labels: blogging, chris kaman, mandy's one true love, nba

Wheelchair-Basketball Players Stunned By Thunderous Slam Dunk


NBA Names New Foul After Rasheed Wallace


Nation Healed By Awesome Sports Highlight

[And more on the slide show found on The Onion. Via College Humor]

Labels: hilarity, nba

According to the Dallas Morning News' Mavericks Blog, the Mavs are bringing in Kevin Willis "for a workout on Thursday to find out if he might be a viable option for their vacant roster spot."

Now, not to knock Kevin Willis' talent - he's a mean rebounder- but I remember Kevin playing for the Houston Rockets back when I still lived there (in '96-'98 and '01) and I remember him being old even then.


Yeah, a quick check of the facts shows that Kevin will be turning 45(!) this September. Which makes him 4 years older than Dikembe Mutombo, the league's current oldest player, and way older than Robert Horry.



Willis retired at the end of the '04-'05 season and if he were to return this would be his 21st season in the NBA.

Wow, I really hope this is true just for the geriatric joke fodder it would provide, but if the Mavs already seemingly passed on Reggie Miller and Scottie Pippen can't break back into the game then what chance does Kevin Willis have?


Also, this really doesn't have anything to do with anything, but I just wanted to point out this fun bullet I noticed in Willis' NBA.com player bio:

*Majored in fashion design at MSU

I'll spare you the John Amaechi gay joke. Just this once. But only because 80% of my recent posts have including gay jokes. Time for some new material.


[Thanks to TrueHoop for the Robert Horry fun]

Labels: kevin willis, mavs, nba, random

Except maybe a 60-foot buzzer beater to tie the game and send it into overtime.



Hells yeah. And don't worry, this was no Jerry West buzzer beater, the Pistons pulled it out against the Denver Nuggets in OT (113-109) thanks to Rasheed Wallace and the insanity shown above.

Labels: buzzer beaters, detroit pistons, nba, rasheed wallace

Labels: mavs, nba

Labels: babies, Carmelo Anthony, nba, who knocked lauren up now?

Not only is today my birthday, but today is the day Mandy sent me the music video of Tony Parker rapping.

Yes. Tony. Parker. Rapping.

As anyone who knows me can tell you, there is nothing that brings me more joy in this world than making fun of Tony Parker. I respect him as a basketball player and all...but he makes it really really really easy. Not only is he French (I speak French), not only is he engaged to an annoying whore (Eva), not only does he kind of sound like a downy when he talks because of his accent (c'mon you know he does) and not only is he on a team that rivals my Mavs (Spurs), BUT NOW HE RAPS!!!! YES!



"Oh bonjour! J'mappelle Tony Park-hur! Oh la la!"

This is seriously the greatest present anyone could have given me. And the big giant bow on top is when Tim Duncan appears at 1:56. He still looks confused.

"I'm Tim Duncan...where am I? In a rap video? I am so high.....I have no idea what's going on right now..."

I just wish you all could be here right now to actually see the impression. It's GOLD. Comedy gold.

VIA WBRS sports blog

Labels: music videos, nba, tony park-HUR, youtube goodness

Labels: lauren's future husband, links, mavs, nba

WBRS Sports Blog posited the same question today, and Bentley Green is here to tell you the answer to that question is HELL and YES.

Labels: bentley green, cuteness, mavs, nba, youtube goodness

15 in a row, mother fucker.

OOOHHH yeah...can you feel that???

Labels: hot, lauren's future husband, mavs, nba

You probably saw Dwyane Wade dislocate his shoulder the other nite and cry like a little faggot. What you might have missed - something far more horrific. L.A. Clipper Shaun Livingston dislocating his knee.


And reacting far more masculinely. It's a lot like that scene from the Godfather where Johnny Fontane is crying over how Woltz won't give him the picture and then Marlon Brando just reaches over and shakes him and slaps him across the face and says "You can act like a man!" and then makes fun of him for crying like a woman. Yeah, in the NBA version D-Wade is Johnny Fontane and Shaun Livingston is Brando. Except Shaun Livingston purposely dislocates his knee and doesn't cry just to drive home the point that D-Wade is a puss.

Watch it. If you dare. I turned away and recoiled in horror when I saw it, so I have no idea how Shaun Livingston lived it and managed to keep it together. And just remember that if Shaun Livingston were Barbaro his ass would totally be glue right now.



Via The Big Lead

*UPDATE: Turns out it was even worse than originally thought. And understandably he'll be out forever 8-12 months.

*UPDATE #2: Now with audio! So placid for a man who just suffered the worst sports injury since Joe Theismann.

Labels: dwyane wade, nba, shaun livingston

THE NEXT CAST FOR DANCING

WITH THE STARS!

NBA All-star arrests? Pssh. I know what people want.

The entire list can be found here. But former models, Heather "crazy peg leg ho" Mills, ex-boy band members, and Steve Sanders mean jack shit to me.

What I came here for is the athletes. I was rooting for Emmit throughout the whole of the last season and I loved watching Jerry Rice and Evander Holyfield the seasons before.

I think this season will defiantly bring some quality entertainment to the table with Apolo Anton Ohno and Clyde Drexler filling the athlete spots. Ohno probably won't be anything too exciting. You know he'll be good with all that fancy footwork what with all that speed skating that kid does. (And he fills in the spot for adorable, am I right ladies?) But Clyde Drexler? I think we have found the GGS favorite.


Clyde the Glide for Dancing with the Stars champion!

On Monday nights just be sure to use your free hand to pick up the phone and vote for him. Unless of course you want a member of Phi Slama Jama to lose to the "star" who sang 'Achy Breaky Heart.' And if that's how you feel may you rot in hell, sir. Or ma'am.

If this post doesn't prove my (sports loving) womanhood, I don't know what will. Well, besides titty pics...

Labels: dumb television, nba, random

(yes, that's my bottle of water and my copy of the entire series of "1st and 10" (behind it) on DVD which was also purchased at big lots)

I love when athletes sponsor shit. Because of Troy Aikman I use Acme Brick. When I discovered cracks in my foundation I, of course, turned to Olshan foundation repair thanks to Nolan Ryan. I switched my cell phone coverage to Sprint due to the laser rocket arm himself. And although my Viagra comes from across the border and not a pharmacist, I was still convinced to try it after seeing Rafael Palmeiro's commercial.

Nash's role as the water boy is at least a noble one. It's for an effort to create safe water supplies in developing countries around the world blah blah blah. And if you go to the Clearly Canadian website they have some prizes and stuff.

The hoser water should give me the grand prize for just talking about it.

I don't think there is any flavored water in that man's system in that picture...


And in other greasy Canadian news: Nash should be back for Tuesday night's game. After testing his shoulder in practice on Monday he hopes to return for Tuesday night's game against (fellow crazy hair) Chris Kaman and the clippers. "Steve looked great," Creepy D'Antoni said. "His legs looked great." D'Antoni better be glad his sweet legs Nash is coming back. They are 4 games behind my Mavs.

Labels: flavored water, Nash, nba, random