OPEN LETTER TO HBO

Dear HBO,

I got a bone to pick with you. I am what you might describe as perturbed.

You know your latest commercial for Sex and the City? The one that interrupts my Food Network Challenge: Wedding Cake Surprise? The one that shows the girls ditching the guys to watch DVDs of the show? Then at the end someone says something about the DVDs and the screen says “It’s like football for women?”

Yep. That’s the one.

Just to clarify: For some women (and I realize it’s a tiny amount) FOOTBALL IS LIKE FOOTBALL for us.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m a huge fan of the show. Huge. I love watching it and drawing comparisons to my life and obsessing over them and analyzing them and trying to figure out which one of the four I’m most like that week. I had my “I’m a Samantha” key chain. I am among the masses of females that relates to many of the episodes (the “You’re girl is lovely, Hubble” episode…Oh my God. It’s like it was written for me).

But I also went hoarse the last time I went to a football game. I would trade my house for some kind of miracle to turn back time and get the Mavs back in the playoffs. I would rather be at a sports bar drinking a pitcher of something frosty and rooting for whatever team is on the screen than be anywhere else (well besides being in the crowd for said event). I spend my time writing on a sports blog for crying out loud.

You see, you’ve got it all wrong HBO. I was in the SATC fan club. But you crossed a line. A sports line. In my heart.

Football is Football. Don’t fuck with that.

OkIloveyoubyebye,

Lauren


PS- The commercial is almost as bad as that one for Wal Mart that had the girl bringing the guy to her house for the first time and he sees that she has 4 TVs and asks her why. She responds with something like so she can watch 4 different sports at once and he in turn gets down on one knee and proposes. This angers me. This does not happen. If it did happen, Mandy and I would get a lot more proposals than we already do.

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OPEN LETTER TO THE DALLAS MAVERICKS

Dear Mavs,

Wow. You've really backed yourselves into a corner haven't you? You should've won tonite. You were leading almost the entire game. You were playing solid D, you were getting lots of rebounds, you were doing a decent job making it to the foul line, and you were getting some nice shots. Until the fourth quarter when you started playing sloppy and turning the ball over every other play and you completely forgot how to drive and opted to put up airballs from 3-point range instead. Now you face elimination at the hands of a team who was just a game away from not even making it to the playoffs. Embarrassing.

So I'm going to ask you to do something for me. Tuesday is Game 5. Tuesday is also my birthday. So how 'bout you don't fuck this up and stay in the series? Given the amount of time I've invested in you this season, it'd be pretty shitty to make a Mavs fan cry on her birthday. It's called giving back to the community.

So win.

Love always (so long as you win),


Mandy

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