We haven't had a Becks/P33n/Beck's P33n post in a while...time to fix that.
So good looking. Even blond. I loves it.
I really have a hard time finding anything wrong with him. Well, except for the fact that he is married with children. Double whammy. All hot athletes should be single and childless for my convenience.
So good looking. Even blond. I loves it.I really have a hard time finding anything wrong with him. Well, except for the fact that he is married with children. Double whammy. All hot athletes should be single and childless for my convenience.
You may have seen other sites touting their mock drafts in preparation for the 2007 NFL draft, but we here at GGS are known for a much more in-depth type of NFL research and analysis. As such, we will be conducting not a mock draft, but a cock draft. So ladies and gentlemen welcome to the first inaugural Girls Gone Sports 2007 NFL Cock Draft.
In the cock draft we don't care about a player's size (except for what's between their legs), skill (except for how they perform between the sheets), or their positions (except the sexual ones). The draft field is full of players fresh out of college, ready to make headlines as criminals, to father illegitimate children, to take pictures of their penises with camera phones, or to punch the occasional stripper. We've tried to cull the very best to create a superteam consisting of hotties, felons, and people we think will be amusing in the years to come. The cock draft rules are as follows:
Other than that there is pretty much no rhyme or reason to this draft. Lauren and I acted as the GMs (the giant mammaries) and we totally disregarded the serpentine and pretty much every other facet of the draft that makes it a draft.
JOSH SWOGGER
QB. Montana . 6'4" 237 lbs.
He's just really fucking hot and his last name rhymes with blogger, which pretty much means that we are meant to be. At least that's our logic.
BRIAN WINGERT
Kicker. Northern Iowa. 6'1" 186 lbs.
He's hot and he's a kicker. We're drafting him because that combination means odds are we're going to end up seeing his penis. Which is something we wholeheartedly endorse.
DEMARCUS "TANK" TYLER
Defensive Tackle/Nose Tackle. North Carolina State. 6'2" 323 lbs.
We're recruiting him to replace Tank Johnson as Roger Goodell will probably be suspending him in the near future. Plus we like people with the name Tank. And we like making fun of fatties. Truffle shuffle Tank, truffle shuffle.
DREW STANTON
QB. Michigan State. 6'3" 235 lbs.
Hot. Moving on.
BRADY QUINN
QB. Notre Dame. 6'4" 240 lbs.
Statistically one of the best quarterbacks ever to play at Notre Dame. Also statiscally one of the hottest quarterbacks in the 2007 draft.
QUINN PITCOCK
Defensive Tackle. Ohio State. 6'3" 301 lbs.
His last name is Pitcock. C'mon.... the possibilities are endless. Y'know you wanna hear marble-mouth Madden try and spew his name out. He'll probably end up calling him cock tip at least once on Sunday Night Football.
JOE NEWTON
Tight End. Oregon State. 6'6" 256 lbs.
He's a tight end with a tight end. Believe me, we spent a lot of time studying photos of his ass in uniform. Time very well spent.
DAN MOZES
Center/Guard. West Virginia. 6'2" 230 lbs.
He's from West Virginia. The same school that brought you such upstanding citizens as Pacman Jones and Chris Henry. He may look like he should be in glee club, but fool is bound to be a badass motherfucker. Roger Goodell ain't seen nothing yet. We predict a headline containing the words "Dan Mozes," "decapitates" and "stripper" in his future.
CHRIS LEAK
QB/Running Back. Florida. 5'11" 210 lbs.
He plays multiple positions. Kind of like Kordell "The Slash" Stewart, but less gay. Or is he?
TOBY KORRODI
QB. Central Missouri. 6'3" 234 lbs.
Toby: "Girls, for the last time my name's Kunta Kinte."
Lauren and Mandy: *cracks whip* "Your name is Toby. I want to hear you say it. Your name is Toby. You're going to learn to say your name. Let me hear you say it. What's your name?"
Toby: "Kunta. Kunta Kinte."
Lauren and Mandy: *cracks whip* "When the master gives you something you take it. We gave you a name. It's a nice name. It's Toby. And it will be your name til the day you die. Now we want to hear you say your name. What's your name?" *cracks whip*
Toby: "It's Toby."
RORY JOHNSON
Outside Linebacker. Mississippi. 6'1" 237 lbs.
We're diggin' the last name, but "Rory" as a first name for a big, burly linebacker? I don't think so. Rory is a name for a lily white Gilmore Girl, not a giant black linebacker. We are drafting you solely to rename you. *cracks whip* "What's your name Toby?"
CHRIS HENRY
Running Back. Arizona. 6'0" 228 lbs.
His name is Chris Henry. And much like the other Chris Henry, he looks like trouble. Time to double the amount of felons in the NFL named Chris Henry. Imagine how confusing that would be. Whenever you hear "Chris Henry arrested" instead of just saying "Figures." you'll be saying "Figures. Which one?"
STEWART BRADLEY
Outside Linebacker/Defensive End. Nebraska. 6'4" 256 lbs.
Check out this nappy-headed ho. He looks kinda like Napoleon Dynamite sans the glasses and the high-waisted pants. But he has hot potential. We're drafting him and making him cut that monstrosity. *cracks whip*
JOHN BECK
QB. Brigham Young. 6'3" 234 lbs.
Hot and Mormon. Which makes it totally acceptable for him to marry the both of us. And why should the NCAA get to bogart all the polygamy stories?
DAN BAZUIN
Defensive End. Central Michigan, 6'3" 265 lbs.
Hot and vaguely reminiscent of Brian Littrell from the Backstreet Boys. Backstreet's back, alright!
WILLIS BARRINGER
Free Safety/Special Teams. Michigan. 5'10" 211 lbs.
Whenever you speak to us we'll just reply "Watchu talkin' bout Willis?" and we'll laugh, and laugh, and laugh. Cuz that's never not funny.
JESSE ALLEN
Wide Receiver. Virginia Tech. 6'0" 247 lbs.
Two words: mustache rides.
Wow, um...looking back we realized that perhaps these weren't the smartest picks. We drafted 6 quarterbacks, no punter, 1 wide receiver and practically no offensive line or defense. Looks like some of our players are going to need to learn some new positions *cracks whip* We're about as qualified to participate in a draft as Matt Millen. Except we have big boobs, which makes us about 100% more qualified.
In the cock draft we don't care about a player's size (except for what's between their legs), skill (except for how they perform between the sheets), or their positions (except the sexual ones). The draft field is full of players fresh out of college, ready to make headlines as criminals, to father illegitimate children, to take pictures of their penises with camera phones, or to punch the occasional stripper. We've tried to cull the very best to create a superteam consisting of hotties, felons, and people we think will be amusing in the years to come. The cock draft rules are as follows:
Other than that there is pretty much no rhyme or reason to this draft. Lauren and I acted as the GMs (the giant mammaries) and we totally disregarded the serpentine and pretty much every other facet of the draft that makes it a draft.
JOSH SWOGGERQB. Montana . 6'4" 237 lbs.
He's just really fucking hot and his last name rhymes with blogger, which pretty much means that we are meant to be. At least that's our logic.
BRIAN WINGERTKicker. Northern Iowa. 6'1" 186 lbs.
He's hot and he's a kicker. We're drafting him because that combination means odds are we're going to end up seeing his penis. Which is something we wholeheartedly endorse.
DEMARCUS "TANK" TYLER Defensive Tackle/Nose Tackle. North Carolina State. 6'2" 323 lbs.
We're recruiting him to replace Tank Johnson as Roger Goodell will probably be suspending him in the near future. Plus we like people with the name Tank. And we like making fun of fatties. Truffle shuffle Tank, truffle shuffle.
DREW STANTONQB. Michigan State. 6'3" 235 lbs.
Hot. Moving on.
BRADY QUINNQB. Notre Dame. 6'4" 240 lbs.
Statistically one of the best quarterbacks ever to play at Notre Dame. Also statiscally one of the hottest quarterbacks in the 2007 draft.
QUINN PITCOCKDefensive Tackle. Ohio State. 6'3" 301 lbs.
His last name is Pitcock. C'mon.... the possibilities are endless. Y'know you wanna hear marble-mouth Madden try and spew his name out. He'll probably end up calling him cock tip at least once on Sunday Night Football.
JOE NEWTONTight End. Oregon State. 6'6" 256 lbs.
He's a tight end with a tight end. Believe me, we spent a lot of time studying photos of his ass in uniform. Time very well spent.
DAN MOZESCenter/Guard. West Virginia. 6'2" 230 lbs.
He's from West Virginia. The same school that brought you such upstanding citizens as Pacman Jones and Chris Henry. He may look like he should be in glee club, but fool is bound to be a badass motherfucker. Roger Goodell ain't seen nothing yet. We predict a headline containing the words "Dan Mozes," "decapitates" and "stripper" in his future.
CHRIS LEAKQB/Running Back. Florida. 5'11" 210 lbs.
He plays multiple positions. Kind of like Kordell "The Slash" Stewart, but less gay. Or is he?
TOBY KORRODIQB. Central Missouri. 6'3" 234 lbs.
Toby: "Girls, for the last time my name's Kunta Kinte."
Lauren and Mandy: *cracks whip* "Your name is Toby. I want to hear you say it. Your name is Toby. You're going to learn to say your name. Let me hear you say it. What's your name?"
Toby: "Kunta. Kunta Kinte."
Lauren and Mandy: *cracks whip* "When the master gives you something you take it. We gave you a name. It's a nice name. It's Toby. And it will be your name til the day you die. Now we want to hear you say your name. What's your name?" *cracks whip*
Toby: "It's Toby."
RORY JOHNSONOutside Linebacker. Mississippi. 6'1" 237 lbs.
We're diggin' the last name, but "Rory" as a first name for a big, burly linebacker? I don't think so. Rory is a name for a lily white Gilmore Girl, not a giant black linebacker. We are drafting you solely to rename you. *cracks whip* "What's your name Toby?"
CHRIS HENRYRunning Back. Arizona. 6'0" 228 lbs.
His name is Chris Henry. And much like the other Chris Henry, he looks like trouble. Time to double the amount of felons in the NFL named Chris Henry. Imagine how confusing that would be. Whenever you hear "Chris Henry arrested" instead of just saying "Figures." you'll be saying "Figures. Which one?"
STEWART BRADLEYOutside Linebacker/Defensive End. Nebraska. 6'4" 256 lbs.
Check out this nappy-headed ho. He looks kinda like Napoleon Dynamite sans the glasses and the high-waisted pants. But he has hot potential. We're drafting him and making him cut that monstrosity. *cracks whip*
JOHN BECKQB. Brigham Young. 6'3" 234 lbs.
Hot and Mormon. Which makes it totally acceptable for him to marry the both of us. And why should the NCAA get to bogart all the polygamy stories?
DAN BAZUINDefensive End. Central Michigan, 6'3" 265 lbs.
Hot and vaguely reminiscent of Brian Littrell from the Backstreet Boys. Backstreet's back, alright!
WILLIS BARRINGERFree Safety/Special Teams. Michigan. 5'10" 211 lbs.
Whenever you speak to us we'll just reply "Watchu talkin' bout Willis?" and we'll laugh, and laugh, and laugh. Cuz that's never not funny.
JESSE ALLENWide Receiver. Virginia Tech. 6'0" 247 lbs.
Two words: mustache rides.
Wow, um...looking back we realized that perhaps these weren't the smartest picks. We drafted 6 quarterbacks, no punter, 1 wide receiver and practically no offensive line or defense. Looks like some of our players are going to need to learn some new positions *cracks whip* We're about as qualified to participate in a draft as Matt Millen. Except we have big boobs, which makes us about 100% more qualified.
Yes, it's been less than a month since the end of the NFL season and already you're aching for more. Well, that's where Lauren and I come in. We've also been aching, albeit for a completely different and soon to be disclosed reason. Never ones to rest on our laurels, we've feverishly spent the offseason trying to come up with some inside NFL scoop for you guys. We tracked down some of the best in the NFL and observed them in their natural habitats---no, not on the field--but in the bars, casinos, seedy hotels, and houses of crack and ill repute across America. And then we spent our offseason in way only Rex Grossman could dream of. We spent it fucking. Specifically NFL players. So today we bring to you some Fantasy Football of a different ilk - XXX Fantasy Football and the authoritative compendium of NFL peen. (Hey, it's not slutty if it's in the name of research and public interest!) Our experiences were as follows:
*Chad Johnson - Interesting fact: Chad also bleaches and styles his pubes.
*Eli Manning - We hooked up with Eli at - where else - a karaoke bar. He offered to pay us at first, which is, I suppose, the only way he knows. We declined (cuz we're ladies), but we kinda wished we'd taken the money by the end of the night. Not a lot of action to be had here, just a lot of tears and a request that I spoon him. Eli was of course, the little spoon.
*Jeremy Shockey - Has been inside Tara Reid. Penis looks like this.
*Ben Roethlisberger - They call him Big Ben for a reason. Seriously. He drinks like a champion, he fucks like a champion.
*Willie Parker - They don't call him Fast Willie Parker for nothing.
*Tom Brady - Micro penis. Gisele clearly hasn't seen it yet. Trust me, it ain't worth all the baby mama drama Honey. I can just imagine Tom trying to think up excuses to avoid sex with Gisele cuz he knows his blissful days with her are numbered. Oh the irony of ironies. Poor Tom. At least he'll always have the memories. And the nude pics. And his hand. And that damn scarf.
*Marvin Harrison - Decidedly mediocre. Sorry to report, but there is just nothing interesting about this man. Except maybe the fact that he kept playing that Snickers commercial on loop while we were doing it. Mmmm....mmmm.....mmmmm.
*Kyle Orton - Whiskey dick. And he threw up on us.
*Troy Polamalu - We tried to get a glimpse of the Polamalu peen, but Troy was not a go-er. He did let us brush his hair, but that was as far as we got. He lectured us about righteousness and the evils of the path that we had chosen, then he sent us on our way and offered to pray for our souls. What a fucking loser.
*Peyton Manning - Remember that scene in Brokeback Mountain where Heath Ledger is having sex with his wife and she's trying to do it in the missionary position and he keeps flipping her over so he can hit it from the back? Yeah, it was a lot like that. That and he kept calling us Kenny. Weird. Almost made us wish we were back with Eli. Almost.
*Jake Plummer - Had to be replaced by Jay Cutler mid-fuck.
*Tony Romo - Lauren hit this one solo because no self-respecting Steeler fan would ever be caught fucking a Cowboy (although granted the issue of my self respect is up in the air after this post). Tony brought her almost to climax and then bam! he went limp and it all faded away. He cried for awhile, then blamed her slippery vagina and told her that he didn't want this one night to tarnish their entire relationship and that he looked forward to performing better on their next encounter. He was of average size, but was way overrated on SportsCenter.
*Brian Urlacher - Has been inside Paris Hilton. Penis looks like this.
*Terrell Owens - Many have long suspected that T.O. actually has a vagina. Confirmed. (And he could use a tip or two from Jim Thome about how to clean that thing.)
*Rex Grossman - Yeah, Rexy was hung huge, but even bigger - his balls. Which might explain his on-field decisions. Not a whole lot of finesse in the bedroom either. We asked him to start off nice and slow, but typical Rexy, his reply was "Fuck it! I'm going deep!" That night definitely ended in a trip to the hotel ice machine if you know what I'm saying. And I certainly hope you don't.
*Ladanian Tomlinson - Total choad.
*Daunte Culpepper - Daunte Culpepper did not have sex with us. Especially not on a boat. Daunte Culpepper did not engage in lewd and lascivious conduct with us. Especially not on a boat. Daunte Culpepper didn't even look at us. Daunte Culpepper was playing dice the entire time. A boat? Daunte Culpepper doesn't even know what a boat is. Daunte Culpepper's never even been near a body of water. Daunte Culpepper is black. He doesn't know how to swim. That would be ridiculous. Daunte Culpepper thinks these accusations are racially biased. Daunte Culpepper would like to stop speaking in the third person and refer all further questions to his lawyer.
*Fred Smoot, on the other hand.....well that's where we turned out the lights and turned on the shame.
*Jeff Garcia - Packing large. But almost too good. Like he was out to prove something. Hmmm....
*Carson Palmer - Haha, yeah right. Pass...
*Kurt Warner - We had a very confusing 3-way with Kurt and some dude named "Brenda."
*Matt Leinart - Has been inside Paris Hilton. Penis looks like this. However, Lauren, ever theslut intrepid reporter that she is, still quite literally took one for the team. She was subsequently impregnated. Matt immediately disappeared and is acting like he has no idea who the father is, so Lauren's planning on telling Brady that he's got another baby on board. Gisele's probably starting to feel left out.
*Adam Vinatieri - Did a little striptease for us, which either gives credence to this rumor, or means that he's trying to get an in with Gisele. She's just a few more bastard children and a penis sighting away from leaving Brady. Way to plan ahead Vinatieri.
*Brett Favre - Had to take Cialis to get it up. (I think we've found his new ad campaign. Forget Prilosec and Sensodyne. Brett Favre supports Cialis and erections not lasting longer than 4 hours!) Brett may have some trouble getting it up, but once he's ready to go it's hard to make him stop. No matter how much you want him to and no matter how much he declines in skill. Still a decent lay, but after the 17th time we had to say enough already.
*The Cincinnati Bengals - So we got a little ambitious and decided to take on an entire team. Not a good choice. We immediately regretted that decision. You think all those arrests were bad? You should have seen the crimes perpetrated against our vaginas.
*Tim Hasselbeck - F-REAK. Like Rick James Superfreak kinda freak. Turns out his conservative shrew of a wife Elisabeth only believes in sex for procreation and prefers to get her kicks elsewhere, which leaves Tim with some...um....built up sexual tension to say the least. Lauren and I compared notes and I'll just give you this brief synopsis of what was involved (or at least what we can tell you about): cleveland steamer, angry dragon, roman war helmet, snowball, rusty trombone, hot carl, cold carl, houdini, the bismark, the pirate, feltching, strawberry milkshakes, the verizon, the bucking bronco, the snow plow, ass to mouth, golden showers, tea bagging, dog in a bathtub, new york taco, blumpkin, woody woodpecker, rear admiral, sandpiper, the walrus, abe lincoln, tombstone 69, cunt trumpet, journey into darkness, and the AJ Daulerio. And no, we're not down with the dirty sanchez, cuz like I said earlier, we're classy dames.
Well, that's all the fucking we were able to get in this month, but Lauren and I hope to bring you more sexy stories about professional athletes in the future (and Lauren will be putting her Leinart-spawn and any future illegitimate pro athlete kids up for sale on Ebay if anyone's interested). However, I think we're going to stick to reporting from behind a computer until at least the NBA offseason. Right now we're going to ice down our vaginas and see if it isn't too late to get that HPV vaccine. You can all thank us later.
*Chad Johnson - Interesting fact: Chad also bleaches and styles his pubes.
*Eli Manning - We hooked up with Eli at - where else - a karaoke bar. He offered to pay us at first, which is, I suppose, the only way he knows. We declined (cuz we're ladies), but we kinda wished we'd taken the money by the end of the night. Not a lot of action to be had here, just a lot of tears and a request that I spoon him. Eli was of course, the little spoon.
*Jeremy Shockey - Has been inside Tara Reid. Penis looks like this.
*Ben Roethlisberger - They call him Big Ben for a reason. Seriously. He drinks like a champion, he fucks like a champion.
*Willie Parker - They don't call him Fast Willie Parker for nothing.
*Tom Brady - Micro penis. Gisele clearly hasn't seen it yet. Trust me, it ain't worth all the baby mama drama Honey. I can just imagine Tom trying to think up excuses to avoid sex with Gisele cuz he knows his blissful days with her are numbered. Oh the irony of ironies. Poor Tom. At least he'll always have the memories. And the nude pics. And his hand. And that damn scarf.
*Marvin Harrison - Decidedly mediocre. Sorry to report, but there is just nothing interesting about this man. Except maybe the fact that he kept playing that Snickers commercial on loop while we were doing it. Mmmm....mmmm.....mmmmm.
*Kyle Orton - Whiskey dick. And he threw up on us.
*Troy Polamalu - We tried to get a glimpse of the Polamalu peen, but Troy was not a go-er. He did let us brush his hair, but that was as far as we got. He lectured us about righteousness and the evils of the path that we had chosen, then he sent us on our way and offered to pray for our souls. What a fucking loser.
*Peyton Manning - Remember that scene in Brokeback Mountain where Heath Ledger is having sex with his wife and she's trying to do it in the missionary position and he keeps flipping her over so he can hit it from the back? Yeah, it was a lot like that. That and he kept calling us Kenny. Weird. Almost made us wish we were back with Eli. Almost.
*Jake Plummer - Had to be replaced by Jay Cutler mid-fuck.
*Tony Romo - Lauren hit this one solo because no self-respecting Steeler fan would ever be caught fucking a Cowboy (although granted the issue of my self respect is up in the air after this post). Tony brought her almost to climax and then bam! he went limp and it all faded away. He cried for awhile, then blamed her slippery vagina and told her that he didn't want this one night to tarnish their entire relationship and that he looked forward to performing better on their next encounter. He was of average size, but was way overrated on SportsCenter.
*Brian Urlacher - Has been inside Paris Hilton. Penis looks like this.
*Terrell Owens - Many have long suspected that T.O. actually has a vagina. Confirmed. (And he could use a tip or two from Jim Thome about how to clean that thing.)
*Rex Grossman - Yeah, Rexy was hung huge, but even bigger - his balls. Which might explain his on-field decisions. Not a whole lot of finesse in the bedroom either. We asked him to start off nice and slow, but typical Rexy, his reply was "Fuck it! I'm going deep!" That night definitely ended in a trip to the hotel ice machine if you know what I'm saying. And I certainly hope you don't.
*Ladanian Tomlinson - Total choad.
*Daunte Culpepper - Daunte Culpepper did not have sex with us. Especially not on a boat. Daunte Culpepper did not engage in lewd and lascivious conduct with us. Especially not on a boat. Daunte Culpepper didn't even look at us. Daunte Culpepper was playing dice the entire time. A boat? Daunte Culpepper doesn't even know what a boat is. Daunte Culpepper's never even been near a body of water. Daunte Culpepper is black. He doesn't know how to swim. That would be ridiculous. Daunte Culpepper thinks these accusations are racially biased. Daunte Culpepper would like to stop speaking in the third person and refer all further questions to his lawyer.
*Fred Smoot, on the other hand.....well that's where we turned out the lights and turned on the shame.
*Jeff Garcia - Packing large. But almost too good. Like he was out to prove something. Hmmm....
*Carson Palmer - Haha, yeah right. Pass...
*Kurt Warner - We had a very confusing 3-way with Kurt and some dude named "Brenda."
*Matt Leinart - Has been inside Paris Hilton. Penis looks like this. However, Lauren, ever the
*Adam Vinatieri - Did a little striptease for us, which either gives credence to this rumor, or means that he's trying to get an in with Gisele. She's just a few more bastard children and a penis sighting away from leaving Brady. Way to plan ahead Vinatieri.
*Brett Favre - Had to take Cialis to get it up. (I think we've found his new ad campaign. Forget Prilosec and Sensodyne. Brett Favre supports Cialis and erections not lasting longer than 4 hours!) Brett may have some trouble getting it up, but once he's ready to go it's hard to make him stop. No matter how much you want him to and no matter how much he declines in skill. Still a decent lay, but after the 17th time we had to say enough already.
*The Cincinnati Bengals - So we got a little ambitious and decided to take on an entire team. Not a good choice. We immediately regretted that decision. You think all those arrests were bad? You should have seen the crimes perpetrated against our vaginas.
*Tim Hasselbeck - F-REAK. Like Rick James Superfreak kinda freak. Turns out his conservative shrew of a wife Elisabeth only believes in sex for procreation and prefers to get her kicks elsewhere, which leaves Tim with some...um....built up sexual tension to say the least. Lauren and I compared notes and I'll just give you this brief synopsis of what was involved (or at least what we can tell you about): cleveland steamer, angry dragon, roman war helmet, snowball, rusty trombone, hot carl, cold carl, houdini, the bismark, the pirate, feltching, strawberry milkshakes, the verizon, the bucking bronco, the snow plow, ass to mouth, golden showers, tea bagging, dog in a bathtub, new york taco, blumpkin, woody woodpecker, rear admiral, sandpiper, the walrus, abe lincoln, tombstone 69, cunt trumpet, journey into darkness, and the AJ Daulerio. And no, we're not down with the dirty sanchez, cuz like I said earlier, we're classy dames.
Well, that's all the fucking we were able to get in this month, but Lauren and I hope to bring you more sexy stories about professional athletes in the future (and Lauren will be putting her Leinart-spawn and any future illegitimate pro athlete kids up for sale on Ebay if anyone's interested). However, I think we're going to stick to reporting from behind a computer until at least the NBA offseason. Right now we're going to ice down our vaginas and see if it isn't too late to get that HPV vaccine. You can all thank us later.
If I could type the noise that Homer Simpson makes when he thinks of donuts I would.
What's up Beck's p33n? I salute you right back, sir.
Thank you, Popsugar. No really, THANK YOU.
It's sad though. Cause I know I'll never meet any man who looks like that. So sad it makes me wanna go to my bedroom and cry.
And use my own tears as lube.
EDIT: Is it p33n or cup bulge? I want to believe that it's p33n.
Labels: becks, masturbate and cry, peen
We here at GGS normally abhor Valentine's Day. The gifts are usually stupid, we get them just so the guy we're with can get laid, and there is no thought involved.
That is until we received this text message from Jeff Reed. His crude Photoshop skills show that he obviously spent A LOT of time on this. Clearly his love for Girls Gone Sports is real. Now tell us Jeff - how the fuck did you get our phone numbers?
But anyways, yes Jeff WE WILL BE YOURS.
P.S. ~ In case you didn't notice, we are currently in the process of revamping our site. Much thanks to the very sexy Tiffany. We would have much preferred to get her Valentine's Day n00dz over Jeff's.
- Mandauren
