This just proves that all you have to do to make it in a meaningless lady magazine is date a pop singer. You don't even have to win a Super Bowl! Hell, not even a playoff game! And BOOM! Fun fearless male!Ed. Note - Jessica Simpson has boned 3 of the men in that picture.
Well anyways, Tony was "honored" with the "award" along with Dave Salmoni, Peter Krause, Dave Annable, Tom from MySpace, John Krasinki, Common, Dane Cook and John Mayer.
Good for him. Hey! One of my Cowboy's won something! HOOORAYY!!!!
[dlisted]
Labels: tony romo
How long has it been since Tony and Jessica graced this blog? WHAT?? I let it go on that long? Christ, I must be sick. 
Oh shut up out there. I can hear it now, "God, all she does is post about Jessica and Tony. Doesn't she have a life?"
No. No I don't.
"Give it up already, Lauren. You gossip whore."
Hey. Watch it.
"I can't believe those sunglasses. Ugh, that bag. What a man face."
Yes Mandy, I know. But we would SO wear those sunglasses. Tony's jaw looks stronger since he's been dating her. That can only mean one thing. He's been certified for his diving license.
His muff diving license! OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FACE!!!!!1!!!!!!1!!!!
[Popsugar]
Oh shut up out there. I can hear it now, "God, all she does is post about Jessica and Tony. Doesn't she have a life?"
No. No I don't.
"Give it up already, Lauren. You gossip whore."
Hey. Watch it.
"I can't believe those sunglasses. Ugh, that bag. What a man face."
Yes Mandy, I know. But we would SO wear those sunglasses. Tony's jaw looks stronger since he's been dating her. That can only mean one thing. He's been certified for his diving license.
His muff diving license! OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FACE!!!!!1!!!!!!1!!!!
[Popsugar]
Labels: jessica simpson better watch her back, tony and jessica, tony romo
Tony,
Look to your right. Now look at the sign behind you. Heed it's advice my friend. Nothing good can come from that. Trust me. Look what it's done to you already.
Love,
Mandy (& the sign)
[Source]
Labels: jessica simpson better watch her back, people who have had romo inside them, tony romo, yes this blog really is becoming a romo/simpson watch site
but goddammit I can still out-karaoke him!
Apparently Tony Romo learned absolutely nothing from either his trip to Mexico with Jessica Simpson or his last visit to Metal Skool, because he was videotaped in public with Jessica Simpson yet again, while singing Journey with Metal Skool after they called him a pussy yet again.
I'm not sure who made the more embarrassing onstage partner, Mr. Belding or Jessica Simpson. Some would argue that having a tranny on stage with you gives it a sort of artsy, cabaret feel, but personally I'd opt for that guy who used to play that principal on that show from the 90s. It's just a little more respectable.
If Roger Goodell is gonna fine guys for silly things like punching strippers, there'd better be a fine for this. Having a room full of people and an 80s cover band call you a pussy just isn't enough.
*EDIT - Now with EVEN MORE awful singing. (Yes, somehow she actually gets paid to do this.)
[Source]
Oh, and in case you were wondering, the other people up there with them are Jessica's bff/sometimes assistant Cacee Cobb and Jessica's main gay/the hairdresser responsible for her brokeass weave, Ken Paves.
Taking in a Metalskool show...oh Tony...will you ever learn? Escorting your drunk, straight to DVD, busted weave girlfriend back to the car.
For shame. Bitch can't hold her booze.
A few days ago when they were allegedly broken up a friend of mine said, "See? Tony doesn't keep any girlfriends. He just keeps bitches he fucks." This friend must be wrong. Oh Tony...I am disappointed. At least when she's drunk she keeps that big 'ole mouth closed. I was about to say something along the lines of "she keeps that mouth full of something" or "at least Tony has done something right this year because that bitch has a huge mouth" but alas...I didn't. I'm getting lazy.
[Dlisted]
Labels: drunk, jessica simpson better watch her back, tony romo
Called it. Now shut up about him already.
Who thought Eli would be the Manning to bet on today?!
Any bets on who Jerry Jones will fire tomorrow?
Labels: dallas cowboys, jessica simpson better watch her back, man i hate the cowboys, there is a god, tony romo
Dallas Cowboys Tony Romo and Jason Witten enjoyed their bye week by relaxing in Cabo San Lucas this weekend. Instead of making the smart decision and partying it up with Sammy Hagar at the Cabo Wabo Cantina, they instead opted to hang out with everyone's favorite tranny, Jessica Simpson, and her creepy, creepy father. And you thought Romo's play calling was bad last Sunday...
If he keeps up his string of bad decisions and if Jessica Simpson shows up in the stands on Sunday, I'm predicting Giants 56, Cowboys -10. That's not even possible you say? Just wait.
Somewhere Eli Manning is tenting his fingers like Mr. Burns and saying "Excellennnnt."
Labels: jason witten, jessica simpson better watch her back, tony romo
Being a constant lady of class and grace is tiring. Sometimes I wonder how I'm able to do it all the time. Lifting my pinky to drink tea is simply exhausting. Smiling and waving and doing lovely curtsy all the time is enough to make me need a nap.
I will, on occasion, slip into my alter ego and burp, dance on tables, lift my shirt up and flash passersby, try and fight with beer bottles, drink tea with my pinky down. It happens. Having this much sophistication and grace is probably the hardest thing in the world.
So I understand when a lady of the highest caliber, like Britney Spears, does something normal people find offensive. I mean, when you are used to seeing her being refined, graceful and ultra polished all the time it is a shock to hear of her doing something like this (from the mouth of Ryan Seacrest)...
"She had her sunglasses on. I said, 'Busy day, huh?' She kind of smiled and laughed and said, 'Yeah.' And then I believe I saw her and Tony Romo frolicking." "Lap dancing?" a co-host asked. "I mean some would say," Seacrest said. "She's on his lap," the co-host continued. "Yeah," Seacrest replied.
Let the girl live! When all you do is have stately dinners with the Queen and volunteer for various children's charities you need to occasionally live a little. When a hot shot NFL quarterback flashes you a smile and you have the opportunity to wriggle and grind on his $67.5 million crotch you do it!
It's not like she has two little boys to worry about. Or a career that is tanking. Or a fat ass to work out. Or acne to take care of.
She...wait. What?
Oh yeah. Never mind.
I guess I better get back to writing my etiquette column and making Emily Post look like, well, Britney Spears.
[Photo]
Labels: britney spears, lap dances, tony romo
With Mandy neck deep in legal writing (and the flu *sad face*) I've taken this site over with my love of Tony Romo! MWAHAHHAHHA!
Not really. I've just been busy and Romo stuff falls into my lap and I'm a lazy bitch.
Listening to the radio this morning I got to hear this gem: The Tony Romo song.
Yes, that's the Rawhide-Romo song. (Insert gay joke here) I agree with the Bo and Jim show that played it this morning, Blake Wallace could use work on his rhyme skill.
If that link doesn't work you can find it on the radio stations website here. Hopefully it will still be up.
I wish I had enough time on my hands to write horribly bad songs like that. I barely have time to update here. We've got something coming for HalloP33N. Until then, enjoy the Romo love fest.
EDIT* - I plan on writing (prolly not recording, I save my voice for the karaoke bars) a song about Matt Mcbriar. My favorite cowboy. Australian punters get me every time. Rawr!
[Lonestar 92.5]
Not really. I've just been busy and Romo stuff falls into my lap and I'm a lazy bitch.
Listening to the radio this morning I got to hear this gem: The Tony Romo song.
Yes, that's the Rawhide-Romo song. (Insert gay joke here) I agree with the Bo and Jim show that played it this morning, Blake Wallace could use work on his rhyme skill.
If that link doesn't work you can find it on the radio stations website here. Hopefully it will still be up.
I wish I had enough time on my hands to write horribly bad songs like that. I barely have time to update here. We've got something coming for HalloP33N. Until then, enjoy the Romo love fest.
EDIT* - I plan on writing (prolly not recording, I save my voice for the karaoke bars) a song about Matt Mcbriar. My favorite cowboy. Australian punters get me every time. Rawr!
[Lonestar 92.5]
Labels: tony romo
Sometimes it's hard to be a woman
Giving all your love to just one man
You'll have bad times
And he'll have good times
Doing things that you don't understand
But if you love him you'll forgive him
Even though he's hard to understand
And if you love him
Oh be proud of him
'Cause after all he's just a man
Stand by your man
Give him two arms to cling to
And something warm to come to
When nights are cold and lonely
Stand by your man
And tell the world you love him
Keep giving all the love you can
Stand by your man
Labels: kickin lyrics straight to your brain, tammy wynette is one of my favorites to karaoke, tony romo
A BATTLE ROYALE OF FAKE RUGGED DUDE PROPORTIONS
0 Comments Published by lauren on 10/12/2007 at 12:53.
On Sunday they will meet. Only one will survive. It's the Brady v. Romo Battle of Fake Ruggedness (or the BVRBFR).Who is better at being styled to look rugged? Who can work on a fake ranch harder? Who can rope an imaginary steer faster?
Yes, they will meet at Texas Stadium in what is sure to be one of the most (or the most) over hyped games of the season. Yes, they will compare Romo to Farve and Brady. Yes, we will see that damn Jerry Jones-Papa John's commercial over and over (which by the way was created by a guy I went to high school with).
But what matters to this fake writer, dear horn dog readers? You should know the answer to this one: Who would I most likely let get inside of Lauren the Greats magically fantastic oh so desirable treasure trove of wonder? Why don't I just draw it out and see who wins...
I'm not that great at math so someone else add that up and tell me who won. I can't be expected to have brains and beauty. Geez. Demanding.
I think we all know who I'd do with out even looking at that chart or using the Pythagorean theorem.
And both of them would be the correct answer. I can't lie. It's this disorder I have where I have to tell the truth at all times. Yes, I'd have sex with both of them. Yes, I do have boobs that would make a man leave his wife. Yes, I did win the sexiest person alive contest 3 years in a row under the false name Lola Mchumpmegood. Yes, when I wake up in the morning animated woodland creatures roam into my bedroom while I sing a song in my angelic singing voice.
I told you. I'm like a truth machine.
[Brady pic via The Big Lead]
Labels: graphs and charts help us learn, tom brady, tony romo, yes that is really what i call my lady parts
From reader and journalist/comedienne/all around hot chick Andrea:
"Tony Romo is like that nerdy kid in school who got hot over the summer before senior year."
"Tony Romo is like that nerdy kid in school who got hot over the summer before senior year."
Labels: hot, on last nights game, quote of the night, tony romo, we have hot friends
The GQ Quarterback Spread
Thoughts on the pictures:My sources* tell me that after the picture was taken, the model with Leinart was impregnated. He denies any knowledge of knocking her up. (Illegitimate child jokes with Leinart are never not funny.) Use that two punch method nameless model, two punch. One will not suffice. It's gotta be two, and they gotta be hard. (Punching yourself in the stomach to abort a child jokes are never not funny, either.)
Romo looks decent. When you aren't looking at him straight on and those ears have been touched up in the picture he's pretty hot...I'd hit it. Twice. Oh who am I kidding...three times. Even with the ears. And if I'm looking at him straight on. I'm weak. And easy.
JaMarcus Russell's coat is probably worth more than my car. Probably more than my life.
Brady Quinn tries to be James Dean. Stress on tries. Live fast, die young just doesn't strike me as Quinn's motto. Wear pink, touch boys seems more like it.
Speaking of young, Vincey does the dramatic "run away while looking back pose." Always a winner. He should try the "one hand on hip, head cocked to the side, sly smile, and peace sign" pose. I think it would work.
Ben ROFLsberger included in the magazine just for Mandy's masturbatory pleasure.
See the large pics and video here.
[Pictures from Mark Seliger - GQ]
* - For legal reasons I must state that my source is Matt Leinhart's erect penis. His flaccid penis could not be reached for comment.
Labels: ben roflsberger, GQ, masturbate and cry, quarterbacks who want to be models, tony romo
Unfortunately I don't have much to report on from the game last week. It was f'in hot, the nachos were AMAZING, beer was ice cold and over priced, seats were good, and the hike from the car to the stadium sucks just as bad as it usually does.
We were listening to the radio during the car ride home and one radio personality (who's name I don't know) gave us the "taken out of context it's funny because we're immature" quote of the night:
"Tony Romo loves the tight end."
Kekekekeke!!!!!1!!!
We were listening to the radio during the car ride home and one radio personality (who's name I don't know) gave us the "taken out of context it's funny because we're immature" quote of the night:
"Tony Romo loves the tight end."
Kekekekeke!!!!!1!!!
Labels: its funny because taken out of context its perverted, nachos, on last nights game, quote of the night, tony romo
So Cowboy’s training camp started a few days ago. And I realize that many in the blog world, including my partner in life crime, don’t give two shits about that. Well I do.
We’re going to the first preseason game against the Colts and I’m trying to get us geared up and ready. A little over a week ago I read about Phil Garner and his idea to place a voodoo curse on Carlos Zambrano. This got me thinking…what in the black arts could I do to help my beloved Boys this season?
Lucky for me, a framed picture of Tony Romo fell into my lap.
[Shout out to Shaun for the Romo pic. Readers who give us stuff are the tits.]
We’re going to the first preseason game against the Colts and I’m trying to get us geared up and ready. A little over a week ago I read about Phil Garner and his idea to place a voodoo curse on Carlos Zambrano. This got me thinking…what in the black arts could I do to help my beloved Boys this season?
Lucky for me, a framed picture of Tony Romo fell into my lap.
Each night I light candles around it chanting various things about “not sucking” and “not fucking this up.” I kiss it each night before I go to sleep and I occasionally sprinkle it with a potion I made out of High Life (holy water), my perfume (Chanel), Powerade (for the sport liquid), a ground up hydrocodone (borrowed from TO), and a pinch of sea salt (for flavor).
Sometimes I turn the lights down really low and softly play Journey’s “Don’t stop believing.”
So if you do really well this season Tony, you’re welcome. And if you don’t, I’ve wasted good High Life.
[Shout out to Shaun for the Romo pic. Readers who give us stuff are the tits.]
Labels: dallas cowboys, high life, tap dancing on that line between flattery and insanity, tony romo
NSFW if you can't watch Girls Gone Wild type videos in your place of business:
He's only there for like 2 seconds, but looks goofy as hell for those 2 seconds. According to Youtube this was uploaded June 20th. And as far as I can tell from myextensive research dickin' around on the internets, this isn't the latest CNU party for The Big D.
[Youtube]
[College Nights Uncensored]
He's only there for like 2 seconds, but looks goofy as hell for those 2 seconds. According to Youtube this was uploaded June 20th. And as far as I can tell from my
[Youtube]
[College Nights Uncensored]
Labels: dirty dancing, hos, tony romo, youtube goodness
I hadn't heard much about Tony Romo and Carrie Underwood lately, so I just assumed that she dumped his ass after that whole playoff snap fiasco. But nope, turns out they're still going strong and the two were spotted hanging out at "Dallas's hip Ghostbar" this weekend to celebrate Tony's 27th birthday.
Click here to see the rest of the annoyingly watermarked photos. Ok, first of all, are they "just friends" or getting married? Make up your minds people. And second of all, Ghostbar on your 27th birthday? Lame. That place brings the suck. It is anything but "hip" as we've told you before. C'mon Tony, take a cue from Pacman. You should've been at a gentlemen's club punching strippers and making it rain.
Click here to see the rest of the annoyingly watermarked photos. Ok, first of all, are they "just friends" or getting married? Make up your minds people. And second of all, Ghostbar on your 27th birthday? Lame. That place brings the suck. It is anything but "hip" as we've told you before. C'mon Tony, take a cue from Pacman. You should've been at a gentlemen's club punching strippers and making it rain.
Labels: tony romo
